How to settle no kids at the wedding

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
8389 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@AlmostMrsJPS:  We said on our invites “this is an 18 and over affair.”  Our wedding was not child appropriate (late evening w/full open bar), however we did make the exception for 2 infants that would be traveling with their parents.

Post # 4
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

We have on our wedding website, that was included on our save the dates we sent 6 months out “this is an adults only event” then on our RSVP cards we will also include our website again and at the bottom” please respect this is an adults only event”. If you want his niece and nephew there just invite them. Just don’t make it public they are coming, and on the day of you’re going to be so busy youre not going to even care and certainly no one is going to confront you on your wedding day about akid being there. We have 3 kids coming but they are bridal party and leaving after the cake is cut. It’s your wedding invite who you want. The best thing I did for my stress level was to say “screw it. This is our wedding the we are paying for it’s our day to do what WE want”. 

Post # 5
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

That’s tough.  The step siblings sound like an exception to the rule.  I understand that your side would get upset – I don’t understand the nerve of people sometimes.  It’s your day – you invite whomever you want and there should be no consequences.

Have you thought about having the wedding open to children and then having an adults-only reception? 

I didn’t want kids at mine so we’re having a destination wedding at an adults-only resort.  They won’t be able to book a room unless they’re 18 and my travel agent would be the one to red flag it so I’m off the hook lol. 

Post # 7
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I agree with making an exception for the step siblings, but make sure someone can take them if your reception goes past 8-10pm!

And I would put:

A Sixteen and Over Reception

To Immediately Follow



Post # 8
6457 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@AlmostMrsJPS:  we invited children based on relation. First cousins were invited no matter how old and second cousins weren’t invited at all. I’ve been told that was rude but we had to draw the line somewhere. I think it’s okay to invite his soon to be step siblings based on family relationships.

Post # 10
2501 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@AlmostMrsJPS:  Can you count the step kids as your FIS siblings ( through marriage, kind of) ? That way if people complain you can say children of immediate family members were invited. 

I would just invite them and if people at the wedding say something, just say yes we invited his fathers children. What can they do at that point? I sure as heck wouldn’t care if they were offended, its your wedding and you can invite whoever you want.


Post # 12
6457 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@AlmostMrsJPS:  we didn’t actually say “adult reception” but on our RSVPs we wrote ___ of # (that we filled in) attending. That way it was very clear that their kids weren’t invited.

Post # 13
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Don’t cut it off at an age, cute it off at a relation. We are only inviting immediate family children. That way the brother and niece get invites. Second cousins are pretty far removed relatives, so you should be fine.

We are also having a reduced kids reception, but we are cherry picking. I have no problem explaining it to people who’s kids aren’t on the guest list. “We invited the kids we wanted to attend our wedding.” The end.

Post # 14
1532 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

If he didnt grow up with these kids, they are stepsiblings in name only.   I think he should talk to his dad.   Dad may not care about the kids being invited.

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