(Closed) How to step down from MOH?

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 5
Member
405 posts
Helper bee

Probably not what you want to hear, but if she is ordering the dresses, and you don’t have to plan a shower or bachelorette, is there a real reason not to? All you have to do is wear the dress and stand there. I think it’s the only way to keep her as a friend. If she’s being so awful that you wouldn’t want her at your wedding, then it’s time to cut her out completely.

I think that’s pretty much the only two options. =(

Post # 6
Member
990 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would private message her if and let her know that you are not sure you can be her MOH. Let her know you are excited but feel that you can’t handle the responsibility at the this time

Post # 7
Member
7878 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@LoveLittleDove:  OK I checked your other posts. I remember: The crazy bride who doesn’t want you to cut your hair, and wants your man to cut his short. (And a few crazy bee posters who agreed she was being reasonable, at least about your hair). Is it just about the hair or is there more to it?

I guess it depends on what she’s asking for you. If she’s not asking you to plan the parties, isn’t it a matter of just being there and supporting her on her day?

You should certainly cut your hair if you want to, but otherwise, if she’s happy to keep you I don’t see the harm in staying MOH, because there’s not much to resign from.

Post # 8
Member
990 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Wow I didnt realize she had hit that bridezilla with the hair, I would cut your hair and then let her kick you off.

Post # 11
Member
7277 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@LoveLittleDove:  I have to agree with those who are questioning why you want to maintain the friendship. I know it’s hard, but I’ve ended a toxic friendship that was decades longs and am much happier for it.

I say that because there is no good way to bow out of a wedding party just like there is no good way to ask someone to leave a wedding party. She might be ok but it’s far more likely that it will damage your friendship in a pretty major way. Since you are not having to do much and want to stay friends, I would just stay “busy”, not have much time to talk/hang out and then stand up at the wedding and be done with it. 

Post # 12
Member
7878 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@LoveLittleDove:  Ugh. I’m a Christian who rarely drinks but judging others over this is totally inappropriate.

I would have a talk with her, asking how welcome you and your partner are at her wedding; and explaining how if she can’t be accepting of how the two of you are (hair and all) then it’s not appropriate for you to be MOH. Hopefully that will make her realise what she’s doing. It is possible she’s making comments out of ignorance not spite, and/or she is feeling pressure to conform from stricter people in her church/religion (e.g. about men with long hair, and alcohol).

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