Post # 1
Less than 2 months left and now all the ridiculousness is coming out!! Invitations already went out and my dad is suddenly inviting whoever he wants to the wedding. He’s unable to help pay for the wedding so please take note of that.
My grandmother (his mom) is coming from thousands of miles away and I have not seen her since I was 12/13 years old. I’m 26 now. This is the first time my grandmother is setting foot in the United States so it is an exciting time for everyone who loves her. I am more than grateful that my grandmother is able to attend and I cannot wait to see her!
However, since this news, my dad has decided that I should send a “courtesy” invite to someone I have NEVER met – my grandmother’s brother. Then today, he said that he also extended an invitation to my godmother – who I have NEVER met but she was there for my baptism at 10 months old!!! Seriously?!?
There’s more to the story but I don’t feel like getting into it. All I know is that I do not want to send them an invitation and I do not want STRANGERS at my wedding and I do not want to pay for people I do not know (except those I gave plus ones to family/friends for their significant others). My wedding should not become a family reunion…
I’ve told my dad this and he refuses to listen. He said what better time than a wedding? What to do?
Post # 3
If your dad won’t listen, try to either get another family member involved or reach out to these people yourself. That may be the only way to do it. Try to emphasize to him, if you can, that you cannot afford this people that you don’t know, and that it is YOUR wedding, not his.
Post # 4
If you are paying for it, tell him ” I am sorry I cannot afford anymore people, so unless you can cover the cost, including additional items of flowers, invitations, etc., then these people cannot come”.
If he isnt paying anything he should be respectful of your budget and wishes.
Post # 5
@alotlikelove: Hello date twin! This is so frustrating. Especially since he isnot footing the bill! Is he giving verbal invites? Do you think these people will show up without being formally invited by the bride and groom? You really need to sit down face to face with him and lay it down. I would stress that you’re paying for this, and in no sense of the matter is to continue to invite whomever he wants. Is there someone else in the family that he might listen to as well as a voice of reason?
Post # 6
@alotlikelove: Ask him to pay for those 2 invites (they might not show up anyway especially if it involves a lot of travel)
Post # 7
Godmothers/godparents are a courtesy invitation. If they haven’t seen you since you were born they will probably gracefully decline, but the invitation must be given, it closes an etiquette loop. I invited mine, she had dutifully sent me a birthday card every year and sent me a lovely wedding card, it was a closure for her as well because I had no idea who she really was, some friend of my mother’s.
The great uncle might be a good companion for your grandmother, in a sense, a +1 for her.
Post # 9
For Gradma’s brother & your Godmother I’d say yes, invite them. However, be really clear with him that the guest list is closed after that. Tell him you’re over budget / at capacity.
Post # 10
@alotlikelove: I am going through the exact.same.thing with my dad. It’s SO frustrating and since my parents are paying for 90% of the wedding, it’s hard to say no. However, it has gotten a little out of control. I wanted a small-ish wedding and we’re now at around 300 people! I finally told my dad (when he wanted to add 10 more guests to the list) that our venue doesn’t have enough room for that and he has backed off. I’d say either tell him you can’t afford any other guests or that the venue won’t allow for anymore and he should respect that and back off a bit.