Post # 1
I’m only 5.5 weeks pregnant and all I do is worry that I’m going to have a m/c. I know this is a normal worry, and that there’s absolutely nothing I can do to prevent it from happening should that be the case, but does anyone have any advice as to how I can try to chill out? Every time I go to the bathroom I examine the toilet paper terrified of seeing blood. Even writing this is making me feel like maybe I’m jnxing something! I have no idea why I’m being so crazy about this – I’ve never miscarried before and I was able to get pregnant pretty easily, but now that I am, I’m making myself absolutely nuts with all the what ifs.
Anyone have any advice as to how I can just chill the eff out?
Post # 2
I think it’s normal to worry – you are entering motherhood and it practically comes with the territory! Not to mention your hormones are raging and you are allowed to be irrational about some things.
I don’t want to tell you to chill out, because I don’t want you to then worry about worrying too much, which evidently you already do. Allow yourself to worry, but distract yourself before it gets too overwhelming. Think about something else. Focus on work, or your friends and family, or other projects. There is no point in fighting worries with more worries – just let it come, let it be, and let it go. Easier said than done, I know.
Post # 3
This is totally normal. I went through the same paranoia with both pregnancies. It’s just that feeling of “oh my god, this is so wonderful, now who’s to say it won’t be taken away from me?!”
The fact that there is really nothing you can do to change whether or not this will be a viable pregnancy can be terrifying…but try to use that as a means to relax some. There’s nothing you cna do to change what *may* happen, so enjoy every single day of pregnancy. That’s what I trained myself to do…and it releived some of that anxiety.
I also found the following website re-assuring: http://spacefem.com/pregnant/mc.php?m=08&d=10&y=12
Now, in EARLY pregnancy, it looks kind of dire, but once you’re into your 6th week and the risk of miscarriage drops to the single digits, it is pretty re-assuring.
If your anxiety is something you struggle with and have a hard time getting to a comfortable level, you may want to see alternatives to coping. Being a mom = worry. About everything.
Motherhood in general makes you so emotionally vulerable, something that no one ever really talks about. In pregnancy you worry about miscarriage, birth defects and how what you eat & do will effect the baby. When the baby is born, it’s SIDS, illnesses, vaccines. As the kid gets older, it’s accidents and how your parenting style is going to ruin them. lol It never ends, so it’s important to find a way to deal with the anxiety now!
Congrats on your pregnancy!
Post # 4
I never had a miscarriage, but I was still really afraid of having one when I was pregnant. I thought the fear would go away at 12 weeks, but it didn’t. I still found PLENTY of things to be worried about. Think of it as training to be a mom, because there are plenty of things to worry about now that she’s outside of body haha. Wishing you a H&H 9 months.
Post # 5
urchin: That site was really helpful! I thouht it was 25% chance until 8 weeks, so that definitely made me feel better. Thanks!
Cory_loves_this_girl: Ugh… if this is any sign of the future, I’m going to be the biggest worrier I know when I’m actually a parent!
Jupster: Thanks! Whatever will be, will be… just need to let go and trust it will work out how it’s meant to!
Post # 6
LunaRose101: No real advice but I totally understand. I KNOW this will be a focus for me, totally irrationally. We are not even TTC until Xmas and I am worried already ….. 🙁
Post # 7
Yeah, you’ll never stop worrying now… 🙂
In my experience, it will get better though it will never go away. So just try to accept that you cannot control everything.
Post # 8
I’m 11 weeks tomorrow and I still check the TP for spotting every single time. I did have a miscarriage last year and a chemical pregnancy the cycle before this pregnancy so I’m definitely on high alert. But this pregnancy is going well so far, I’ve had two great ultrasounds and I know that I’ll hate myself if I waste this whole pregnancy in a state of worry. I try my best to just take it day by day and be happy and excited for what’s to come.
Post # 9
LunaRose101: Yep!! Here’s your sister! Having said that, I worried and worried last pregnancy and I did mc. After the mc, all I thought about was how the worry helped me in no way and I didn’t actually enjoy the pregnancy! This time I’m trying really hard to be positive (i have to work at it!!) And to enjoy each day that I’m pregnant! I’m also going to do acupuncture to help me relax and also to help prevent mc. I’d try to find sonethiNg to help: light exercise, acupuncture, meditation etc! I also have found avoiding too many google searches helps!
Post # 10
LunaRose101: Its unlikely you’ll stop worrying but try and set your mind at ease and just not think about it. Spotting during pregnancy is also extremely common so DONT immediately freak out if you do see some spotting. I’m on a moms group and I believe about 50% of us had spotting at one time or another in the first trimester (me included, and baby is fine!). One girl spotted every day for months. I know its hard but just try and relax. You’re not going to do yourself any favors stressing about this!
Post # 11
Basically chiming in to echo phoebephoebo: . I had an MC in May at 8 weeks, and I had spent so much of that pregnancy worrying and worrying, and googling every possible thing that could have been a sign of an impending MC (& I didn’t really even have any signs). All that worrying was totally useless– MCs are generally out of our control, and worrying in advance didn’t make the blow of the MC any easier to bear. I’m almost 6 weeks now, and constantly reminding myself of these things. I just want to enjoy every day of this pregnancy and hope for the best. Finding whatever works for you in terms of relaxation techniques is also really helpful!
Post # 12
MrsA1222: A good point about spotting being something that doesn’t always equal a problem.
I had bright red bleeding at 12 weeks with my current pregnancy, and everything has been 100% fine since (I’m 32weeks now).
Post # 13
LunaRose101: It’s normal to worry, but honestly you can bleed during your first 12 weeks and not be having a MC. Sometimes bleeding doesn’t go hand in hand with MC. Just try to remember that it is healthier for the baby if you relax and try to be as stress free as possible. Maybe try some prenatal yoga, take some naps, just get lots of rest and find something that helps put your mind at ease. The first 12 weeks are hard, and it doesn’t seem to get easier once you reach the end.
Post # 14
How to relax, hmmm… well, I am due in 6.5 wks and still think something will go wrong. I don’t think the worrying will ever stop! I never had any spotting and haven’t had a miscarriage but I had the same thoughts as you. What helped me early on in my pregnancy to chill out was just staying off the internet and reading stories about mc or googling every symptom I had because for some reason, it all pointed back to mc. After my dr was able to pick up a strong heart beat via ultrasound, she said the risk drops to just a few percent, so the odds are really in your favor.
The advice here is all great, but you will prob end up worrying anyway lol it’s just what we do 🙂
Post # 15
Awe jeez, I worry about how much I’ll worry about that when I’m pregnant and we’re not even TTC hahaha! So maybe you wont be the biggest worrier EVER lol 😛
Congratulations, and my only suggestion is to try and enjoy each day! Worrying wont help so just try to distract yourself whenever you find yourself worrying!