How to tactfully word adult only reception on wedding website?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I don’t think you really need to explain why no one under 12 is invited… Just be direct and make sure it is clear.

Recently, my dad’s cousin got married and was very indirect in her desire to have a kid-free wedding. Basically, she did not write anywhere that children weren’t invited.. she just wrote the names of the adults on the invites and omitted the names of the children. Anyway, it created a lot of confusion because ppl just assumed she didn’t bother writing the children’s names And not that they weren’t invited!

Post # 5
Member
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

“adult only reception to follow the ceremony”

simple as that.

if people get annoyed at “older children” at the reception, so be it.

Post # 6
Hostess
4941 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@MarieeToBee:  If you’re worried about confusion on “adult”, then you could just say 18+ reception to follow the ceremony. 🙂

Post # 7
Member
2395 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Carmabelle:  She did it the correct way.  You invite those who are invited, and you don’t invite those who aren’t.  It’s your party, and you’re perfectly entitled to invite whoever you’d like. 

The parents whose kids were not invited shouldn’t have brought them.  Who goes to a party they’re not invited to?

Post # 8
Member
1472 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@oneofthesethings:  The problem is that not everyone WRITING invitations know the correct etiquette either. I had invites to 3 weddings this summer. Every one of them meant to include my child (nursing infant) and not a single one put his name (or “and family”) on the invitation. All had mentioned him coming before (“oh, he’ll be so cute” or “I can’t wait to meet him in August.”) I had to check with each to make sure he was invited.

So, leaving children off an invite doesn’t ALWAYS mean they aren’t invited. I vote to clarify on the invite, etiquette be damed.

Post # 9
Member
1648 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2000

There was no mention about my no children policy at my wedding.  Only those who got invited knew about my wedding website and on the invitation, it was clearly addressed to only the parents.

Post # 10
Member
1747 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

On the response card, we wrote the following:

 

M_______________________

___ graciously accepts

___ regretfully declines

 

___ of 2 attending

 

 We printed the number of invited guests and allowed the recipient to write in how many of the INVITED NUMBER were attending. I didn’t get a single response that included any extra bodies as a result.

 

For the website, I think the “adult-only reception to follow” is perfectly acceptable and to the point.

Post # 11
Member
2395 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Jess1483:  Yeah, that can be an issue as well.  The only thing I can think is that people assume (correctly or incorrectly) that a nursing infant is automatically attached to the mother.  I still think they should have written his name though!

Post # 12
Member
3633 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We just wrote “the formal, adult reception” whenever we referenced our reception (both ceremony and reception were at the same, back to back). If it’s just a few guests under 18, I think it’s fine and there’s not need to split hairs and note it’s 13+ years old. I’m assuming when you say guests under 18, they’re like 16+, not literally right at the 13 year old cutoff.

Post # 13
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@MarieeToBee:  I wouldn’t say anything. Address your invitations accordingly and if some boor RSVPs with their kids call them and explain that you’re sorry for the misunderstanding, but tat the invitation was only for the adults. 

Post # 15
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Jess1483:  I agree

 

we put “formal adult reception” on our invitations. EVERYONE got the point. Oh well

Post # 16
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I would never assume that people know not to bring their families and if you address it to Mr. and Mrs. blah blah you run the risk of many people calling you to ask for clarification. My friends just sent their invites out and theirs said, “Respectfully this is an adult only occasion.” So, yours could say something like, “Respectfully we ask that only children 12 and older attend” Basically, it is your wedding, have it how you want and those who aren’t happy with don’t need to come!

 

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