Post # 1
FI and I were not able to book the large church the we orginally wanted *had no idea of their fees etc crazy mess*
So we’re going to book a much smaller church and I needed to chop my guest list down a bit. I’ve been able to delete 56 ppl *yay me* but I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings over it. I think no one will mind too much but I would like to tell several of them up front *co-workers that I don’t really see outside of work* and have something to others who might ask *i think i will at least send announcements bc I like these ppl I just don’t see them often, we’re not that close and really i don’t have room*
How would you tell ppl
Post # 3
“We couldn’t get the larger church we wanted and have had to move the ceremony to a smaller venue. We are so disappointed but we won’t be able to invite all the people we would love to have had at our wedding. I’m sure you understand.|”
Post # 4
Don’t bring it up unless they ask. If they ask, tell them that it was just due to a lot of reasons. You decided to have a smaller wedding and that you are so sorry but hope they understand.
Post # 5
I would wait for people to bring it up. I’ve been curious about whether or not I was going to be invited to weddings in the past and I would have thought it very unusual if the bride came up to me to explain why I wasn’t going to be getting an invite in advance.
Post # 6
Just to clarify… did you originally tell these people they would be invited and/or send them save the dates? Or are you just afraid that they will assume they are invited?
Post # 7
@Moose1209:afraid they’ll assume they’re invited or i’ve mention in passing to them my wedding but never a “hey i’d like you there * or a std or anything like that
but i know some ppl will ask and i just don’t want to cause hurt feelings you know
Post # 8
We only ran into this a couple of times (mostly thanks to MIL’s big mouth!) and it was before invites went out. (We only sent STDs to the people we *definitely* knew we were inviting.) We would just say “we haven’t finalised the guest list yet but we are pretty limited by space at the venue” and people would generally get the hint 🙂
Post # 9
you are fine as long as you didnt do STDs or anything – which you said you havent. just tell people if they ask and arent on the list “we are having a smaller wedding than we planned due to the fact we couldnt book the venue we wanted.” and leave it at that. or just say you are ahving a small intimate wedding with out the explanation.
i would also suggest doing a b-list if you can get away with it.
our venue only holds 120, and my FH and my mom had lists of like 300. we got it down to 160, and only sent STDs to about 80 for sure, then when we did invites we did two rounds, one due about 6 weeks before the wedding and another due like 4 weeks before the wedding. gave us time to get no’s back so we could fill it in with folks we wanted to invite but didnt have room.
Using that method, we are right at about 110! 🙂
Post # 10
dont bring it up. if they ask, like pp stated, let them know its going to be small so you cant have everyone there.
i had a lot of people say “let me know when you save the date, i would love an invite” after we got engaged. i havent spoken with them since. theyre not invited.
also a tip, try not to post too much stuff on facebook or myspace about the wedding and people wont ask much. they wont even think about it.
Post # 11
I never really inderstoon announcements. To me, they seem like a slap in the face- “hi we got married but you weren’t invited”. Maybe there is a reason to do them, but I’m not sure what it is.
I think honesty is the best option- just tell people costs required you to downsize and only family and close friends can come, but you really appreciate their enthusiasm!
Post # 12
thanks for all the great advice and i got just in time bc i was asked today by a sweet girl i use to work with but haven’t seen outside of facebook in like a year
so i told her simply that the church was small and he has a huge family that must come *she doesn’t know that I feel bad lieing oh well” anyways that we’d have to see how many friends we could squeeze in but no promises. not bad at my 1st attempt *i don’t like being put on the spot lol i was off guard grocery shopping*
Post # 13
I don’t think you need to go out of your way to explain it to anyone. If someone asks I would explain it just the way the PP mentioned. Edit – I just saw your post, sounds perfect. I plan on saying something similar when it comes up
@menobride: Announcements are for people who would be happy to hear you were married – read: grandparents’ friends, parent’s acquaintances etc. For example, FI & I met in college and were both close with my landlord while we were in school. We will not be inviting him to the wedding, but I would like to share the news with he and his wife. if your interested there was a post about it awhile ago.