How to tell a friend she won't be in the wedding?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MrsMeowton:  Not asking her is notification enough. It would be even more awkward if you were to reach out specifically to tell her she is not in the wedding. I understand the good intention of what you are trying to do, but I think it would be more like you are rubbing salt in the wound.

Post # 4
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee

@MrsMeowton:  Ooh thats a tough one. I think you should let her know it was a tough choice, but you have decided to keep the bridal party to a minimal and hope that she can be there for the big day because you do value her friendship.

Post # 5
Member
969 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I wouldn’t mention it unless she brings it up (which I doubt she will). If you don’t talk anymore, it would be really awkward to call her just to say “you’re not in my wedding”.

Post # 6
Hostess
3574 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@hotpinkbride:  +1. You don’t need to specifically “unpick” her. Not picking her is enough. After all, you’re not going to reach out to people in advance and tell them you’re not inviting them, right? They just don’t get an invitation. 

It’s kind of you to be concerned, but it sounds like it shouldn’t be too much of a surprise that she’s not going to be a BM. It sounds like you two have drived qutie a bit

Post # 7
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Yeah, I get where you are coming from but there is no good way to tell someone that so it is better to not say it at all.

Post # 8
Member
939 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

She got upset with you for not telling her you were engaged right away in-person and then when you apologized she gives you a one-word response?

Clearly everything is about her.

If someone finds out you got engaged their first response (if they’re worth a damn) should be happiness, not, “why wasn’t I informed of this before others?”   

Drop her like she’s hot and don’t look back.

Post # 9
Member
298 posts
Helper bee

You don’t say anything at all. Not asking her will send all the message she needs.

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