Post # 1
Another bee recently asked how to tell friends that you’re engaged and in my response to her, I realized I have my own dilemma. Sigh…
SO has the ring and I have a feeling that he’s going to propose in the next couple of weeks (we planned a hiking trip for Dec. 8th to our favorite location and I just have that feeling!). We’ve been together for a year and a half and actually live together but we’re private with our relationship. My friends know the most about us, but my extended family has never met him and some of them probably don’t even know we are this serious (we’re not you’re typical large or “close” family so it’s been hard to get everyone together and on the same page). Of course we plan to call our parents and closest friends, but I have no idea what to do with my Popaw/Step Momaw and aunts/uncles. I don’t get to see them often and they have never met SO. I know they will love him but what do I do, just call them and say “By the way, I just got engaged to someone you’ve never met!”? How awkward is THAT?!
Should I let my parents take care of the extended family or should I call them myself? I feel like I need to call them, but what do I say? Please help!
Post # 3
My mom told my extended family. I don’t speak to my grandparents/aunts/uncles/cousins that often (Pretty much I get a phone call on my birthday and that’s about it), so she was the one who spilled the beans. I wouldn’t have cared if they knew or not.
Edit: No one except my immediate family (Mom/dad and brothers) have met my to-be husband. So… it’s not really all that weird.
Post # 4
I have a HUGE family all over the world. My mom told most of them, a few found out on Facebook. I did call my closest aunt but that’s about it.
Post # 5
@Hyperventilate: +1 thats how it works in my family too.
Post # 6
When your cousins get engaged (assuming that’s happened), how do you find out?
We just posted it on facebook after calling grandparents. There was one cousin we told in person, but that’s because he lives just down the road, the others are all over the country.
Post # 7
- Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island
Most of my extended family found out I was engaged when they received our Save the Date. Most of them have met my fiance, however, because we’ve been together for 6 years. If you really feel that awkward about it, your family could host an engagement party so they could all meet your fiance. But honestly, I don’t think it’s that big a deal.
Post # 8
@LadyElva: Actually a cousin of mine did get married last Christmas and I found out when we got the wedding invitation in the mail. I remember thinking “oh wow, that’s awesome – go Chad!” and that was that. No weird feelings at all.
I guess I’m concerned about my Popaw and Step Momaw. We aren’t estranged or anything and they only live 20 minutes away but we only see each other about six times a year. I was actually going to bring SO to Thanksgiving dinner so they could meet but my grandparents ended up going on a mini vacation with some of their friends so that didn’t work out as planned. They are part of my life, I just don’t get to see them or talk to them that often so it’s more them I’m worried about. Maybe I could wait and tell them at Christmas dinner? But if they find out before then, they’d be devastated. Why am I overthinking this? lol
Post # 9
We’re sending out engagement announcements but we honestly don’t ever see extended family, don’t even know a lot of them, and they won’t be coming to the wedding.
Post # 10
@iheartmarshall: If there are particular family members that you want your SO to meet, maybe just take a weekend off and go visit them! If they only live 20 minutes away, I’m sure you guys could manage it, and you don’t have to make it “This is the guy that I’m getting engaged to soon,” just “Hey, I realised you two haven’t met my boyfriend, so we thought we’d come out for the day to have lunch and get acquainted.” Or something along those lines, maybe?
Post # 11
They found out on FB. I’m not close to any of my family other than my parents. My mother told my only living grandparent when she was visiting, but I still haven’t heard a congrats or anything else out of her, ha.
Post # 12
@LadyElva: Such a simple solution – thank you! I’ve been stressing so much that I overlooked the obvious. Hopefully it works out this way, if we can schedule a day to visit within the next couple of weeks or so (assuming SO will propose on our trip, which I’m pretty sure he will.. he’s been hinting). If not, then I’ll just tell them that SO proposed and I said yes and I know they haven’t met him yet, but he’s coming to Christmas dinner and they will love him.
Thanks bees, just reading your comments have toned down my stress level. I appreciate it!
Post # 13
I have a large extended family (aunts/uncles/cousins), so when we got engaged, I typed up a short and sweet email saying “I wanted to let everyone know my exciting news! Fiance and I have been together for nearly 5 years and today he proposed!! Of course I said yes! We have not set a date yet, but of course we will keep everyone updated! :)” I sent that along with a couple of photos of us from the day he proposed just because some of my family had never seen or met him. I even sent it to aunts and cousins I am closer to just so they were in the loop, and so I didn’t have to call everyone individually, that way they heard it from me and not another family member.
Post # 14
@iheartmarshall: lol, Thats so similar to me, I thought I had actually wrote it and forgot about it. None of my family live around me, so they havent met him. Only my mom and one of my aunts have met him. But in February we’re going to go visit my dad, and he’ll be meeting my dad, step mom and brother. The rest of my family I rarely even see, so I dont really even care about them knowin him.