How to tell Family kids are not invited? Can we say it on the invite

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
8418 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@JJSoon2bwife14:  Traditionally, I don’t think you’re supposed to list who isn’t invited, but only you know your guests.  We had a “no children” wedding and stated that it was an 18 and over affair (late night, open bar).

Post # 4
Member
11712 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think it’s an all-or-nothing thing; I think it would be a rude to invite the 18 year old neice and not any other neices and nephews.

As for the invitations — they specify who is invited. It’s rude to point out who is not invited on an invitation. Therefore, you’re invite “Mr. and Mrs. John Smith” – and if they RSVP for Jane, Sally, and Mike, you politely call and point out that only the parents were invited.

Post # 5
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee

I’m sure it’s not supposed to be written anywhere on the invite that the kids are not invited. The mention of ”adults” who will attend, on the answer card, is supposed to indicate it’s an adult-only event. If it wasn’t the case, I would think there would be one of these 3 options: 

– Teens would also have their names written in full on the invites.

– There would be a mention ”and family” under the couple’s names

– There would be a space on the answer card mentioning children, because you usually have to take into account children’s menus as well.

If none of these options are present, I would assume it’s a childfree event. If you want to invite your 18-year-old niece, then adress her a personal invite, distinct from her parents, even if she still lives with them. It makes it clear that the wedding is inviting only guests aged 18+.

For others who might not understand this, I would ask for close family to spread the word, so people are not surprised when they receive the invites. 

Post # 6
Member
2762 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’ve received an invitation that stated ‘adults only’ before. 

Post # 7
Member
1646 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I literally just had a conversation with each of the folks who had kids, explained the situation as far as no kids and asked if they thought this owuld be feasible for them. If anyone said no, my plan was to offer babysitting at a hotel, but everyone was cool with it!

Post # 8
Member
1646 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I have received an invite that said “18+ only please” on it.

Post # 10
Member
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@JJSoon2bwife14:  I did something like “adult reception to follow” on the invites…and have that mentioned on our wedding website as well. I also told my family…and they’re helping to spread the word.  We will only be having 4 kids at the wedding… 2  of my nieces flower girls and FI’s 2 nephews (Ring bearers).  I did feel bad telling my stepsister my nephew wasn’t invited after she told me how excited he was (but my other 4 neices and nephews won’t be there either)…but it was just something we had to put our foot down about. Good luck!

Post # 12
Member
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’ve seen it stated on invites before. We are adding an insert into our invites that says something like “due to the intimate nature of the event and limited seating we are asking that this be an adult only”
We have a very small ceremony location 😛

Post # 13
Member
1233 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

On our invatations we said, “We respectfully ask that this but an adult only ceremony and reception” and we addressed the invatations just to the parents. There were a few upset people but that was to be expected. We didn’t have any uninvted guests show up which was nice!

Post # 14
Member
8418 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@JJSoon2bwife14:  I think we said something like, due to the setting of this event, this is an 18 and over affair.

Post # 16
Member
240 posts
Helper bee

OK, since you asked –

I think adults-only receptions are kinda not cool if you have kids in either spouse’s immediate family.

 

A wedding really isn’t about you two – it’s about your respective communities and families coming together to celebrate your union, and children of close family members are part of those.

 

Does your venue have a room that you could use for childcare if the kids get tired/unruly?

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors