Post # 1
A couple of months ago, me and some of my bridal party went to try on some dresses. In doing this i found the dress, that i will be walking down the aisle in. I also had set up the appointment for the M.O.H’S, and my sister who at the time was part of the bridal party to try on dresses. I have choosen the dresses that the M.O.H’S will be wearing, when it came time for my sister to try on dresses there was no issue in her doing this. Until it came down to me choosing the dress for the bridesmaids, as soon as my sister found out that she was going to be wearing the same dress as the other bridemaids, she had an issue with the dress. When i told my sister i see nothing wrong with the dress it looks beautiful on her, she started to throw a fit saying that she does not want to be in the wedding that i need to replace her with someone else. At time of her saying this i could understand that she was upset, so i just ignored what she was saying. Since that day i have tried to ask her if she was serious about not wanting to be apart of the wedding, because i would like for her to be in the wedding to celebrate with all of us. She has replied with rude and nasty remarks that i will not mention due to them being very rude & nasty. I have also tried being just very blunt with her as well but she still is replying with the same remarks, now i did not want to have to remove her. But it is to the point were i just felt like if this is something that i am dealing with now, so early in to the planning that what will it be when it comes closer to the day. I have already tried to see it her way, now that my family knows what is going on they dont feel that it was right for me to remove her, even when i have told them i have given her chance to take back what she said am i in the wrong.
Post # 3
Really, you weren’t the one to boot her. She booted herself. Whether she was being dramatic with the comment about the dress or not, she really stepped down all by herself.
Post # 4
I think I would tell them the story you told us. I dont think you’re wrong at all. Plus, you didn’t kick her out, she left.
Post # 5
I would wait and see how things between you and your sister go over the next couple of months. You have a while before the dresses need to be ordered so maybe hold off an see ‘if her attitude will change. When it comes time to order the dresses I would tell her she has until x day to order the dress and if she doesn’t it is on her. That way you aren’t kicking her out, she is chosing not to participate.
It sounds like they are already aware of the drama going on so I am sure it won’t be too big of a deal when you let them know that she will be attending as a guest.
Post # 6
How old is your sister? And is she really kicking herself out of your wedding over a dress?
I think a fight w/ your sister and subsequently, your parents over something as inconsequential as a dress is not what you need right now, while you’re planning the most important day of your life. In your position, I would tell my sister she could wear a different dress, as long as it is the same color as the other BM dresses, if that’s really the only reason she’s refusing to be in the wedding (why is the dress such a big deal to her, I have no idea). If that is all it takes to relieve a ton of tension and family drama, I’d say it’s worth it to let her have her way on something, even if she’s being bratty.
Post # 7
I went through something very similar with my sister. She hated the dress I picked, showed zero interest in the wedding and caused a ton of drama. I told my Mom that I can’t deal with her negativity and she should just not even be in it. All I really wanted was a genuine apology.
Well this turned into everytime I tried to have a conversation about the wedding, my mother was crying about how my sister was not in it. It was awful. I told my Mom the problem isn’t me it is with her and maybe she could talk to her about it.
Your parents may be a good mediator…eventually my sister emailed me an apology a few weeks ago (due to my Mom) and she just got her dress last weekend – and ending up actually liking it when she tried it on.
I mainly did it for my parents…and if your sister is still difficult even after your parents tried talking with her, that is no ones fault but her own. If it gets to the point like mine did…mother crying all the time (ughhhhh) you may just have to give in unfortunately but at least on your terms (specific designer and color…pick between that)