Post # 1
I have been engaged for almost 2 years now, we are planning on having a very long engagement for many reasons…I am a full time student and we really don’t have the finances yet. I don’t like that idea but whatever works. Anyways when we got engaged he gave me a ring and I hated it but got used to it I guess you could say. He never once asked my input about what I liked, it doesn’t even look like an engagment ring. It’s yellow gold (which I don’t like but he never asked that, all the jewelery I wear is white gold…) with a small tanzanite and a few little diamonds. I feel like a b**** for complaning about it but if it’s something I’m going to be wearing the rest of my life I want something that I LOVE. I never told him I didn’t like it because I didn’t want to offend him or sound greedy…Any ideas?
Post # 3
Are you in a financial position to buy yourself a ring?
I know this isn’t really answering your question (I don’t know how to tell a guy you want a new one) but couldn’t you always buy the e-ring you always wanted and wear it as a right-hand ring? That’s what I would do.
Post # 4
You said yourself you don’t have the finances yet, so I would just suck it up and wait until the wedding. Then instead of buying just a band, buy a 2 piece set and stop wearing the ring you currently have.
Post # 5
@Ami_zing: If you got your ring dipped so it wasnt yellow gold would that make you like it more? I also hate yellow gold but if I otherwise liked the ring, that would be my first step, I think. It isn’t super expensive and you’d have to get it re-dipped every year or so but it might b a good compromise.
Tanzanite is a beautiful stone but I def think it looks soooo much better with a silver/white metal than a yellow.
Otherwise, I would say just ensure you pick a wedding band you LOVE and don’t wear your engagement ring after the actual wedding. Lots of people only wear their band (but there’s no rule that it has to be only a band – it could have side stones or a solitaire or whatever)
Post # 6
If you don’t have the finances, don’t buy another ring. I’d just wait until you were able to swing the cost.
Post # 7
I’d say be honest but gentle? Tell him that yellow gold isn’t your thing, and you’d like to switch up for white gold. Let him know it’s not that he didn’t spend enough, just that the ring isn’t really your style and you’d like a white gold wedding band and an e-ring to match it. That’s what I would do, I guess.
Post # 8
I also say get it dipped to be white gold. It’s very cheap to do.
Post # 9
@Ami_zing: I don’t think you can say that without sounding too mean honestly. Maybe you could suggest an upgrade when you finally get ready to get married and get a whole new set with an ering that matches the wedding band. I definitely don’t think it’s okay to bring it up when you are having financial trouble.
Post # 10
maybe shop around for a matching set with an engagement ring and wedding ring. Then wear your original ring as a right hand ring? That’s sort of what I have done.
Post # 11
You could say you’d like to get it dipped in white gold because it will go with more of the rest of your jewerly and clothes, but don’t change out the stones.
Post # 12
- Wedding: August 2015 - Backyard Forest
@antisocialite: I like your ideas
Maybe ask him about getting it dipped, because when you get married you want a white gold band. That way it will open up the conversation in a gentle way.
Also, as suggested – either get a wedding set… or get a band you LOVE and wear only it most days.
Post # 13
@Ami_zing: It’s pretty common for couples who were engaged young to upgrade the entire set when they’re more financially stable. I’d get the current ring rhodium dipped, and then wait until finances are secure enough to suggest buying a new wedding set to reflect your life then. At that point, if finances aren’t combined, I’d also expect to contribute.
Post # 14
@Ami_zing: Maybe you can buy an engagement ring and have that be your WEDDING ring? Instead of getting a wedding band? That way, you get the best of both worlds… the ring he proposed with, and a beautiful e-ring that doubles as a wedding band!
Post # 15
Nothing wrong with having standards for a piece of jewellery that you will wear forever.
My first engagement ring had tiny stones and there was a defect.
My husband knew I hated it, so he upgraded to one that I liked. He wanted me to be happy, especially since I was settling for an elopement and I forgave him for an awful proposal.
Be honest yet tactful with your fiance. Tell him that you want a ring that symbolizes the love you have for each other, rather than one that you really dislike. I love the dipping idea.
Post # 16
Tell him your other 4th finger feels lonely.