Post # 1
So background…FSIL is a spoiled brat, always getting her way and if she doesn’t crying, pouting and screaming until she gets it. She’s 24 btw, a tad too old to be acting this way. She’s FI’s only sibling so I asked her to be BM, but am slightly regretting it.
We were on vacation together with FI’s family a couple weeks ago and were talking in generalities about the wedding day timeline. FI and I are doing a first look, then coming back to the hotel to pick up the rest of our wedding party and parents to go do some pictures. FSIL said the following to her bf, “You can just come in the limo and drink the alcohol while we’re getting our pics taken.” I didn’t know what to say in response I was so taken aback and I didn’t really want to start anything while we were on vacation, or in front of FI’s parents.
I wasn’t planning on letting our wedding party’s significant others ride in the limo with the wedding party at all, my other BM’s husbands aren’t riding and when FI was in a wedding last year I drove myself while he rode in the limo from the church…I certainly didn’t expect to get a ride in the limo.
How can I politely let her know that her bf isn’t welcome in the limo? I was thinking about adding something when I send the bridal party an email with the day of itinerary. Something like: “We’re happy your SO’s are celebrating with us today. Make sure they are aware that this is the address to the church.” Please help! I really don’t want to deal with a hissy fit from her on our wedding day!
Post # 3
I think your FI needs to tackle this one. It’s his sister, so he should be the one to let her know.
Post # 4
I think that if you’re as subtle as you’re planning to be, she will probably not get it… She probably feels “entitled” to more than the rest of your party because she’s the groom’s sibling. A talk with her will be necessary…
Post # 5
I second MissHelen in that it should be your FI who handles this.
Post # 6
I think you just have to come right out and tell her: “nothing personal, but there isn’t enough room, so no one’s partner is riding in the limo, only the bridal party.” I think your e-mail sounds a bit passive aggressive to be honest… I would just be direct. If she throws a hissy fit, tell her she doesn’t have to come in the limo.
Post # 7
I would just get your FI to tell her straight up!
“There is not enough room in the limo for everyone’s SOs and so “BFs name” will have to meet us at the church!”
Done and done and if she pouts ignore her LOL!
Post # 8
I wouldn’t even worry about this one etiquette-wise; she’s clearly wrong assuming that SOs would be travelling around with the bridal party. Let her know the itinerary for the bridal party that day and just make sure she knows that it is bridal party only.
Post # 9
I had the same issue with a B<. Our party bus rule was that if they weren’t in the wedding party they weren’t in the bus. There wasn’t enough room. Have your FI relay the message to her, and inform her that HUSBANDS aren’t even going to be on there, much less boyfriends!
Post # 10
I agree it’s his job to handle it, but I’m a little surprised everyone’s bashing her that much. Every wedding I’ve been in has allowed SO’s in the limo, and mine will as well.
Post # 11
Get your FI to set the bratty sister straight. I agree with pp that she will most likely not get the email you plan on sending.
Maybe people are bashing because they have had their share of bratty FSILs.. lol (I know I have!)
Post # 12
The safest approach on this is simply saying that only the bridal party will fit – no exceptions. That way she doesn’t feel like she’s being singled out, hopefully avoiding a tantrum.