How to tell him I'm leaving?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee

@Peachytalk:  I’m sorry to hear that. If I were you, I’d send him an email that is not much emotional. Something like this.

 

“Hi XX.

No matter which problem was bigger – you not treating me in a way I think you should, or me doing things that you think wrong, I simply can’t bear this relationship anymore. It has been way over my emotional capacity and not only I don’t see any possibility in this relationship, I don’t have a capacity to stay any longer. As you are able to afford the place on your own and because I am leaving, I would be willing move out. I will start finding a new place and I wish we can take my name out of the lease when you come. If there’s any practical matter that you’re concerned, please let me know.

– Peachtalk”

The main reason for the email I think is twofold. First, let him be aware so that he won’t be shocked and overly aggressive over the shock. Second, try to handle things as logical as possible because it’s “WRITTEN”.

Post # 5
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Peachytalk:  Is it possible to talk to your landlord about being taken off the lease? I would get everything settled, packed, and mostly out BEFORE your SO comes back for that 7 days.

Post # 8
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Peachytalk:  It’s possible, most landlords won’t do it… that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask, though. But you should know what sort of legal reprecussions might come back on you if your SO decides not to keep your place and ends up ‘breaking’ the lease – that is definitely information your landlord will be able to provide.

Post # 9
Member
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I def think you should email him or call him on the phone because he will have the next two weeks to chill out about it. I would find a place and move, I don’t think your landlord will take your name off the lease without both of your consent. Send the email and that way he will respond Hopefully saying yes ill stay and you move, that way you can show your landlord

Post # 13
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

You are no longer responsible for his reactions and as such have every right to move when ever and where ever you choose. Moving out before he gets back is the smartest option since should the sh*t hit the fan you will have a place to go without worrying about a roof over your head.

Good luck and I am so impressed with your decision. Behaviour such as his only goes one way and that’s worse. Unless of course they get intensive psychotherapy. But lets face it how many of them do.

Post # 14
Member
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@Peachytalk:  I once told an ex I thought he was ttreating me badly so he went out got a new gf, changed the locks to the house we shared and called me to tell me he decided he was over it so believe me I know what it’s like to have to leave the house you created and all but it’s worth it.. Now I have a great DH and can’t believe I dated that creep for five years. Just send the email and who cares if he’s blind sighted it sounds like he hasn’t been very considerate towards you in the past 

Post # 15
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Peachytalk:  But thinking about what you’re gaining.  Independence, freedom, self-respect, peace of mind.  Those things are definitely worth more.  🙂

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