How to tell if you are a waiting bee or not?

posted 1 year ago in Waiting
Member
3893 posts
Honey bee

I guess I considered myself “waiting” once we had decided about when we wanted to be married (we originally thought Dec 2013 or Jan 2014) and when we wanted to be engaged (a year before marrying). Once we agreed on that, I guess I considered myself waiting. We weren’t engaged, and I was waiting for a proposal, but I knew when it was coming.

Member
91 posts
Worker bee

I considered myself waiting when my SO took me to a jewlery store and told the assiciate we were here to look at engagment rings and when he would as me what I would like. I also considered myself waiting when he said he wanted to get married March 2014, that day I was like wow I don’t remember getting properly asked lol. And since when does the groom alone pic the wedding date? I think I will have a future Groomzilla on my hands.

Member
8046 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@InOurYellowSubmarine:  I think it really depends. If you’re eager for a proposal, basically ‘waiting’ on him for one, then yeah I would say you could call yourself a ‘waiting bee’. It’s anything you want, really IMO.

I think the typical waiting bee is ready to get engaged but there is some sort of hold up, usually the guy not being ready for whatever reason. From all the posts I see on here, it seems to be quite an all-consuming thing! Usually the guy knows she wants to be engaged, and sometimes there’s a timeline (easier for waiting bee to deal with) and sometimes there’s not.

I am not sure I really consider myself to be ‘waiting’, but basically we want to marry but can’t until his divorce is final… it’s taking forever. I know he wants to marry me, though.

Member
564 posts
Busy bee

@InOurYellowSubmarine:  I think thats a really good question! I was trying to figure when getting married became a reality and when getting engaged became something I was waiting for. For me it was when I knew my SO was not only thinking about buying a ring but ready to start the process. I really started on “ring watch” when my SO actually said th word “ring” and said I could show him some pictures. Waiting is different for everyone I dont think you need to have established a timeline, but I think if you both know you want to get married you can consider yourself waiting!

Member
178 posts
Blushing bee

I would define it as someone who has had a discussion with their SO about getting married (where it’s reasonable to assume an engagement will likely happen someday) and is actively awaiting a proposal.

Member
302 posts
Helper bee

@InOurYellowSubmarine:  I considered myself an official “waiting bee” when on this past Dec 23, 2012 he asked me for my ring size and what kind of engagement ring I would like  (even though we had been dating 6 yrs 4 months by that point! lol!).  We had been discussing our wedding plans, marriage plans, children plans, etc. for years and we have been in a LDR the entire time but my SO is in the process of buying a house and finding a job in my city (he plans to be moved in by Feb 2013 and with a job by Mar 2013) so I guess proposing to me is next on his list of to-do’s and it wasn’t until he asked me for specific details like size and type did it all become so REAL AND CLOSE! I was surpised, myself, at just how excited I got and I believe it was the same day that I actually opened an account on WB and became and official “waiting bee.”  I’ve been addicted ever since and the suspense of waiting is KILLING ME!!! :-/

Member
1218 posts
Bumble bee

Here’s my handy guide:

You are waiting when you surrender to your boyfriend and give him the power of if/when you will get engaged.

You are engaged when you and your partner decide to get married and/or you start planning your wedding together.

You are dating when you are with someone but don’t have or don’t need a plan to get married.

Some people fit into none of the categories, however.

Member
426 posts
Helper bee

I think I started ‘waiting’ last May or June when we started joking around about marriage and people getting engaged and after we had a brief timeline discussion. However, I don’t think I’ll consider myself “offically” or “really” waiting until we start talking about rings and proposals/engagement and setting more specific dates. He made it pretty clear that his “plan” is to get an apartment and in his mind, getting engaged is the next thing to do after that. Although that could be misinterpreted, I’m kind of on the same page. Generally speaking, people become independent, live on their own, and then get engaged (not necessarily though). So my SO and I seem to have the same idea about what we want for our relationship, but that time isn’t quite there yet. In the meantime, it’s fun to browse the boards and every once in a while rant ;)

Member
821 posts
Busy bee

Well, I suppose it can vary from person to person, but I didn’t consider myself ‘waiting’ until after we had discussed marriage a few times and I started to send him pictures of rings. Of course you could even consider yourself waiting if you’ve had a serious talk about marriage, but being me and a control freak, I just had to have my hand in the picking out of the ring, lol.

Member
244 posts
Helper bee

I began to consider myself as waitng when my best friend (also friends with SO) told me she let him know that when he was thinking of a ring he should contact her because she’s got details on what I like. His response was, “we’ll talk in a couple months.” That was about a month ago. I have been “wanting” since the summer but now I think it’s more “waiting” since I know it’s happening!

Member
3650 posts
Sugar bee

When we decided we will marry each other, so now I’m WAITING on the proposal.

Member
287 posts
Helper bee

I considered myself waiting as soon as we discussed how we were going to get engaged, and married. As soon as I knew we were on the same page and both started to work towards that goal, I was waiting. Did I know he was the one before that, yes, was I secretly waiting, yes… But I didn’t consider it official until I knew for sure I was.

That’s just how I looked at it for myself though.

Member
691 posts
Busy bee

@InOurYellowSubmarine:  for me it was a co worker who got engaged on christmas 2010. since then it’s been in the background noise and I’m forever watching 27 dresses and my best friends wedding lol!!!!

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