Post # 1
I know it was really nice of them to invite us but the logistics are just really bad. There are going to be too many people in such a small place (6 adults, 2 kids in 3 bedrooms) for a week and I doubt I will be able to relax. They’ve already paid for us. I wouldn’t mind at all if my husband went without me. Is there a way for me to tell both him and his parents I’d rather not go without sounding like an ungrateful bitch?
Post # 3
@Aquaria: I would talk to your partner first and see what his feelings are. Maybe he doesn’t want to go without you. I think it’s sweet to get the whole family together and while it might not be your ideal choice, it may be worth it to suck it up in this case.
Post # 4
No lie, I’d get out now while I could! I went on a trip like this (2 adult couples, 3 single adults, 1 child, 3 bedrooms, 1 bathroom and a partridge in a pear tree). I ended up sharing a full size bed with another adult and a toddler. It was positively miserable despite being in a tropical paradise with all my expenses paid. I was honestly looking forward to the trip, and also felt a tad guilty about one of the couples having bought my plane ticket but I promise I’ll never ever do it again. I didn’t have a moment of true relaxation the entire time.
Post # 5
@Aquaria: …just tell them that you or someone you care about has hepatitis…people hate that shit and ask ZERO questions once you play that card…it’s awesome
Post # 6
I would have told them sooner since they already paid for you unless they can be reimbursed the money. I would also ask your hubby what he thinks about it because perhaps he wants you to go with. It may be a fun time. Besides, you won’t be spending a ton of time in the room anyway.
Post # 7
We just passed on doing a trip with SO’s family to see his mom’s relatives. We would be traveling separately, and would have to travel on July 4th and come back July 7th. Tickets are expensive and we can’t justify spending that kind of money right now when it’s not a reunion or party. It’s just his mom visiting her brother and I think one other family might visit. (she has like 6 siblings) His family is going for a week, and we could only do a long weekend. I’m also in the middle of summer classes so it would really be hard on me homework wise.
So, SO apologized and said this just wasn’t a good time for us. We’ll do a family trip another time.
Post # 8
Can you book your own accommodation? It would give you an escape for some peace and quiet.
I hardly think they paid for your acommodation when at least one couple is going to be sleeping with 2 kids in their room (don’t know if that is you or the other couple). Normally the adults would have one bedroom and the kids the other.
Post # 9
I’d sit him down ASAP and be up front with him. I totally don’t blame you for not wanting to go! Just because someone pays your way doesn’t mean that it’s going to be a care-free, stress-free, amazing time that you should be totally on board with. I don’t do family vacations with his family. We’ll go visit relatives for a few days, but I just turned down going to a timeshare with them all for a week. I told DH that it’s stressful, and doesn’t feel like a vacation. Booking your own accomodations sounds like a perfect solution, if it’s do-able.
@Nona99: I love you, hilaroius Nona.
Post # 10
@Nona99: HAHAHA, good idea! TB would work, too!
If they already paid for you, seems like it would be hard to get out of.
Post # 11
No, i don’t think so since they already paid for you.
Post # 12
Have you talked to your husband? Knowing how he feels will really help you decide what to do next.
My FILs are great and very generous, but often buy us tickets to things without asking first. They used to do this for FI a lot and it was fine when he was yonger and single. Now being older and a couple we have a lot more obligations and often are not free for these they already paid for. FI just tells them thank you but we are not able to attend.
Post # 13
@Aquaria: Did they ask first, or did they just assume you were going and pay for the trip? If they didn’t bother to ask first, I’d say let them learn a nice little expensive lesson about making other people’s plans for them.
Post # 14
Could you give us more details – where is the trip to, was this trip discussed/planned, does your husband want to go?
To me, if your husband wants to go – you go. It’s not always fun but that’s what you do. And to me the 3 bedroom 6 adults, 2 kids thing isn’t that bad. You will have your own bedroom I assume because whoever has the two kids will either share their room or have them sleep on a couch. You can always get away with your DH. You don’t have to spend every waking moment with family but they’ve paid for your trip, they obviously want you there so I think you suck it up and go.
Post # 15
@PuntaCanaBride I agreed to the trip months ago… when the plans were for it to be at a 5 bedroom beach house. Just 2 weeks ago my MIL downgraded it to a 3 bedroom condo. As much as I dislike my SIL I feel bad that she’ll have to share a room with her son, her boyfriend, and his son. That’s just too many people for an entire week. And this may be TMI but when I go on vacay with my gentleman we like to have some (you know what) time. This will not be possible with parents and children in the next room. Alas, my husband and wants to go, and I know he won’t go without me.
Post # 16
That sucks, OP. Agreeing to this 2 months ago when you were told it was a 5 bedroom beach HOUSE is totally different circumstances to it now being a 3 bedroom condo! I’d feel blindsided by it. But, unfortunately, if your DH wants to go, looks like you’re stuck. Bright side is, it’s free. Will you and him still have a bedroom to yourself? Surely there will be times you 2 can be alone. Make sure your DH makes that happen!