(Closed) How to tell my best friend that I'm choosing my sister as MOH

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 4
Member
3969 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@FutureMrsWebb_1227:  I’m not sure what advice to give you, but this is sort of why I’m not goign to do MOH and just have a group of BM. I don’t like thinking about who is my “best” friend or sister. They were all there for me in my life, at different times, in different ways, and I hate that the designation of MOH can cause a lot of drama. I’m not saying that that will work for you, but I hadn’t really considered NOT doing it the MOH/BM way until I started reading a lot of alternative blogs. 

Post # 5
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@love108:  +1

Unless there’s a really pressing reason, why make either the MoH? Esp if you’re thinking of bestowing the title on your sister but bestowing most of the work on your bff, which is kind of what I heard in your post.

Post # 6
Member
12250 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would tell her

“She’s my sister, so she HAS to get the MOH title. But you know you’ll be the real MOH there! We’re like sisters by choice!”

Post # 7
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Why can’t you have two MOHs, or not have one at all? I haven’t “officially” appointed a MOH, basically all tasks are split between whoever puts their hand up for it first. My sister has been helping organise the whole wedding, and my best friend is doing a speech at the wedding. Neither of them are upset at not being the one and only MOH, and they don’t mind sharing the jobs either – they’re pretty good friends anyway!

Post # 8
Member
7796 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@FutureMrsWebb_1227:  “I’m having my sister as MOH because, well, she’s my sister. I know we said we’d be each other’s MOH as teenagers, but I didn’t appreciate family so much we were teenagers“.

In my opinion you should never be bound by a childhood pact to be each other’s MOH/BM. I sometimes wish there was a way to ban girls from making them!

Post # 9
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee

She’s your best friend, she won’t care that she isn’t your MOH. I bet she just wants to be there for you on your big day 🙂

Post # 10
Member
8473 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

It’s understandable to feel the “need” to have your sister get the MOH title. Are any of them married? Can you have a maid & matron? 

Post # 11
Member
6745 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

My friend did this to me.  She picked her sis over me bc she “had” to and honestly, it was hurtful.  No matter how you say it, it’s going to hurt your friend.  I don’t understand “having” to pick someone bc they’re related to you.  She didn’t even get along with her sister!  She fought with her the ENTIRE time.  And I didn’t get why not pick 2 MOHs if she didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feeling?  Were my feelings less important than her sisters?  IDK, whatever.. I still did a TON of stuff for her bc I was happy for her – just as much as her MOH.  So the answer is, there’s nothing you can say to spare her feelings other than that she’s your MOH. 

Post # 12
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Is that a normal thing, to talk about being maid of honor in someone’s wedding?  I never once had a conversation like that, ever.  

Post # 14
Member
2956 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 1998

Why can’t they all just be bridesmaids? You don’t have to upset anyone this way!

Post # 15
Member
7796 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Holly77:  I like that solution too. I only had two girls (sister and best friend) and called them both bridesmaids.

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