Post # 1
My dad and I are not close. He lives about 5 min from us and we only see eachother a about 5 times a year.
I would actually like for my fiancé, our daughter, and I, to walk togeather. Walking by myself is not an option.
I was thinking about telling him what I wanted and go from there. The only problem is 12 years ago my dad went to my sisters wedding showing up in a tux expecting to walk her down the aisle. My sister was very firm with him and our mom walked my sister. I know that he is going to be hurt, not being able to walk either one of us. We are his only 2 children. I just don’t know how to let him down easily. I have to come up with something pretty quick because I plan on telling him in 2 weeks.
Thanks for listining and all responses are appreciated!
Post # 3
Maybe instead of framing it as “I don’t want you to walk me,” you can frame it more along the lines of, “this is something WE want because it represents us coming together as a family.”
My then-FI-now-DH and I also processed in together, and I was a tiny bit worried that my dad’s feelings would be hurt. In our case it had nothing at all to do with not wanting to walk with him (my dad and I are close), but I don’t like the woman-as-property overtones of giving the bride away, and having the couple walk in together is actually a much older tradition in the Church. My dad was fine with it, and I think it helped that we presented it not as a rejection of him but as an embracing of something we both wanted.
Post # 4
I walked my mom down when I was 5. I don’t know exactly how to tell him,but maybe you could just explain you and your daughter are walking together?
Post # 5
@AquabatsCadet: Did your father never speak to your sister before the wedding? Did he just show up?
Post # 6
That sucks because it does seem like this is important to him and he will be hurt if you don’t. What about having him walk you part way and then your FI and daughter joining you to walk the rest of the way?
Post # 7
@KCKnd2: I was thinking the same. This will be us joining as a family. We have been togeather just over 9 years. Our daughter was born the day dafter out 7th anniversary. It would be very special for the three of us to walk together.
@victoriadavis18: our daughter just turned 2 and is going through a shy phase. I don’t know if she would just walk with one of us. But this is an option. Thanks!
@Sapphire-Dreamer: he was invited to the wedding. So he didn’t just show up. But he did come in a tux assuming he was going to in the wedding. I’m not sure of all the details because I was 14 at the time and didn’t care. I’m gonna have to check with my sister on that.
@Utopia4us: this is an option. But at the same time I wouldn’t want to hurt my mom. She is the one who took care of me while my dad didn’t do anything. Also my fiancé isn’t too find of my dad so this will have to be discussed.
Thanks for understanding and offering support! im still torn. I hate hurting people but I want to be happy as well.
Post # 8
@Sapphire-Dreamer: I’m wondering this, too. He just went out on his own and rented a random tux and showed up, expecting to walk her down the aisle?
Post # 9
@AquabatsCadet: What I ment to ask was that if you sister ever actually discussed her progression with your dad before her wedding (again, you may not know this given your age at the time). Yes, It is important that you let your wishes be known to your dad BEFORE the big day. I think i am getting a bit of your family dynamic. If It were me I would speak frankly to everyone in my bridal party about my FI’s and my wishes.
Post # 10
@Sapphire-Dreamer: I agreed totally that we should talk with may dad before our wedding. Our wedding isn’t until August so I have plenty of time. No one but my mom knows that we are finally planning our wedding. We will be announcing fiances family and also my moms side of the family tomorrow. I will be telling my dad on the 6 about our plans for the weddingwhen I see I him. Sorry I should have been more clear on why it was the 6th.
Also we do not have a wedding party. Our wedding is going to be very casual. Also very untraditional. So the only person I need to tally to in my bridal party is my dad to tell him there won’t be one at all.
Thanks I really apreciate your input
Post # 11
Ok, so that makes it so much easier. “I am not having a Bridal Party. Everyone invited will be a guest….”