Post # 1
I am a nice person, I hate hurting people’s feelings and I don’t like to be rude.
So I had this friend in High School, she was my best friend but as it happens, contact was lost and two months ago she found me on Facebook. Recently she asked about my upcoming wedding, I told her that we are eloping on the Whitsundays. She has excitedly invited herself along. I didn’t know what to say, so I said not sure of the exact date yet; even though I do know (Yes, I know I shouldn’t have). That was it, or so I thought
She messaged me asking for my postal address. I didn’t think much of it, the wedding hadn’t been mentioned for a couple of weeks so I gave it to her. Its a wedding dress that came in the post. No shit, she bought me a wedding dress.
We are eloping! I feel crueler now to tell her she isn’t invited. In not going to invite her but not my sister! How can I tell her nicely?
Post # 2
Ok, buying you a wedding dress is strange. I would return it and say, “thank you, but I have my own dress”. Explain that you are eloping but would be happy to meet up for coffee afterwards.
Post # 3
This is.. Odd. Can you call her and tell her thank you for the dress, but it isn’t appropriate and return it? And reiterate that you are ELOPING… In a private affair?
Post # 4
FromA2B2013: I thought it was strange too. I remember in High School it was almost like I wasn’t allowed to be friends with anyone else. She used to basically get jealous.
Post # 5
sandy85: this is very strange…especially the wedding dress part. I would be concerned that she might have some mental health issues.
Post # 6
sweetdarling: so glad I’m not the only one thinking it odd
Post # 7
WestCoastV: You might be right there!
Post # 8
Just tell her you are sorry but you have planned this to be a private ceremony and celebration, but that you’d love to see her when you are home and settled.
It is very weird that she sent you a wedding dress. Was it the one you wanted? If not, feel free to return or sell it. She doesn’t have to know. Or just say it will come in handy on your trip.
Post # 9
sandy85: Sounds like stalker-ish behavior, to me. Too bad she already has your home address. Send back a note, with the dress and block her on Facebook, ASAP!
P.S. Are you friendly enough with one of her parents, to talk to them about the situation? I’d be concerned that this inappropriate behavior should be address, not just ignored.
Post # 10
The fact that you’re eloping gives you the best excuse ever. You just simply tell her that you’re eloping & it’s just you & your man.
I’m a little weirded out about the wedding dress gift! I wouldn’t even do that for someone that I’m currently really close with. I would send it back with a sincere thank you card that states that you already have one. But state how thankful you are & how sweet & thoughtful it was. And then just go on with your life.
Post # 11
sandy85: who on earth would just assume a bride wouldn’t want to pick out her own wedding dress? This girl is stage 5 clinger status and you need to put a firm and clear stop to it right now. Return the dress and say thank you so much but you already have one, you are having a small intimate ceremony but you would love to celebrate with her over dinner or a drink some other time.
It’s not your responsibility to make this girl happy, especially at the expense of your own comfort on a milestone day in your life. Saying no to someone when they are being presumption is not being rude or unkind, it’s your right.
Post # 12
Oh my goodness! I hate to be the one to tell you this, but your best friend from high school has come unhinged. Maybe offer to meet her somewhere to return the dress, and reiterate that it’s a true elopment with just you, your mate, and the officiant — nobody else. If she keeps asking, use the Broken Record technique. This is where you keep repeating the exact same thing in the exact same tone of voice over and over.
Her: I can’t wait to see you get married!<br />You: It’s a true elopment. There won’t be any guests.<br />Her: But I can come though, right? We were best friends!<br />You: It’s a true elopment. There won’t be any guests.<br />Her: But I bought you your dress!<br />You: It’s a true elopment. There won’t be any guests.
I suspect she won’t take it well (because she is apparently not rational — who sends a bride an unsolicited wedding gown!) but don’t feel bad. This is not on you!
(edited for typo)
Post # 13
weddingmaven: Not the one I wanted, I actually already have one. This one wasn’t even my size! Bizarre
PABride: She doesn’t talk to her Mum anymore. She ranted and raved about it to me. She used very foul language too, the language you wouldn’t expect from someone talking about her Mum. Her Mum had refused to sign a rental lease on her behalf.
Peanut-Sue: I do have the excuse that it’s the wrong size to, at least five sizes too big. May be it was acquired in a less than perfect way?
polyblonde: Stage five clinger, you made me laugh with that one!
Daisy_Mae: that’s a good idea, repeating the same thing. Message may get across
Post # 14
sandy85: Now it’s getting stranger. I’d suggest looking into changing your phone number, too (get an unlisted one, with no forwarding from the old number).
Post # 15
Definitely sounds like she has a few issues. I would be kind but keep your distance overall.