Post # 1
I have seen many posts on here from bee’s asking for advice on how to tell people that they are not invited to their wedding, however I’ve noticed a pattern.. most of these weddings are on the small side (under 150 guests)
Here is my issue.. My guest list is sitting at 400 people. Yes, it is a lot of people but thats literally just our aunts/uncles, first and second cousins.
I’m only inviting 6 of my closest friends (4 of them are sisters!) and my FI is inviting 8 of his closest friends and co-workers.
This is where the problem lays because my FI and I are Greek and everyone knows that we’re having this big Greek wedding (not by my admission, its just knowledge based on the previous events our families have had) So now a lot of our “acquaintances” think that they are invited to the wedding. I have had a lot of people who I was very close with in school start messaging me, asking me about my wedding, and I try to keep as mum as possible. I cant use the excuse “We’re having a small wedding” because with 400, whats 1 or 2 more? There are other “friends” that are asking about the wedding too but I only see them maybe 3 or 4 times a year at Birthday parties and I dont really care to have them at my wedding. My parents and my FI’s mom are paying for the reception and I feel bad for making them pay for our friends and their dates. How my FI and I see it is: if we wont pay for a $100 meal for them then they dont make the cut (harsh, but you got to stop somewhere)
Oh, and thats another thing! Who knows what kind of date they’ll bring because majority of the girls who expect an invite are into “shady” kind of guys. Last thing in the world I need is their dates to invite their friends and then next thing you know, half the city is crashing my wedding because its an open bar. This might sound like I’m over thinking this but I’ve seen it happen before at 2 weddings so this is where my fear stems from lol.
So, for those who are looking for a summary, here are the cliffs:
- Big wedding
- Lots of “friends” expect invites
- Only 14 friends are invited (between FI and I)
- How to tell the expectants that they arent invited
- How to avoid the “Its a big wedding, whats 1 more guest?” line
Thank you in advance! And Happy Holidays to everyone!
Post # 3
@MsBark: can you blame the venue? tell them that you have a lot of family coming and can only invite a few friends because your reception hall won’t accommodate more than 400ppl (or something of that nature)
Post # 4
I would tell them that you are alread over capacity.
Post # 5
@baileyjosephine: Ah! I never thought of that! What a simple solution lol goes to show that my head is in the clouds on this one. Im not good at confrotation >.<
Post # 6
Has anyone actually asked you if they are invited? If not, I’d just not mention it. If they do actually ask, just tell them your sorry but because your family is so big you only hardly have any friends attending. It’s rude of them to ask.
Post # 7
- Wedding: March 2015 - City Winery New York, NY
Could you tell them you’re just having a family wedding? Sure, it might be a lot of folks, but you have a big family to accomadate.
Post # 8
Even if you are having a large wedding, you have to draw the line somewhere. I am in a little bit of the same boat, large wedding, and everyone knows it. If someone directly asks, I would appolgize and go “Sorry, but we only have so much in our budget and so much space in our venue.” After that, if they insist, they are just rude.
Post # 9
I’d be like “Haha, that’s what they DON’T tell you about big-ass Greek wedings–It’s all family! I have ___ aunts and ____ uncles and like ____ cousins… And don’t even get me STARTED on how many people are in FI’s family! We hit 350 guests with JUST family! We can’t even invite our own friends!”
Post # 10
@cbgg: yeah some people have asked me and I said that we have yet to finalize the guest list.. others have gone to ask my bm’s who are closer with those people than I am and my bm’s have said that they dont know because its mostly family.
Post # 11
@BrandNewBride: That is a great way to tell them! Thanks!
Post # 12
@MsBark: I’m really only going to be repeating what (great) answers PPs have posted, but yeah: just tell them as little as possible for starters. If they directly ask you where their invite is/when the wedding is/why am I not invited, etc., just answer that although there are a lot of people coming, they are all family and that due to venue size, there can be no additional guests.
@BrandNewBride: has my favorite response, and she’s dead on!
happy planning 🙂
Post # 13
@MsBark: I would say that you’re keeping it at family and very close friends.