Post # 1
Without delving too far into the backstory, I’m a bridesmaid for a friend’s wedding in June and things are getting ridiculously expensive. She has already asked us to pay over $200 for a dress, we’ll need to pay another $60 for hair, whatever it’ll cost for mani/pedis, plus the cost of travelling for the bachelorette party. I don’t want to pay an additional $85 for makeup. I just can’t justify spending that amount of money on makeup that I am more than capable of applying myself.
How do I word an email (firm, but final) telling her that I do not want the makeup done?
PLEASE don’t tell me that I decided to be in the wedding, so I should just pony up the cash. Agreeing to be a bridesmaid does not mean I agree to pay for anything and everything the bride wants. I didn’t expect that of my ‘maids and I don’t think it’s fair for another bride to expect that of hers.
Thanks in advance for your help!
Post # 3
Just tell her you plan on doing your own make up.
Post # 4
I agree that just because you’re a bridesmaid does not mean you’re supposed to pay out the ass.
Just tell her you can’t afford it. If you think it will help, tell her you’ll let her look at the makeup you’ll be applying yourself beforehand (Or send her pictures if she can’t see it in person) so she can “approve” it.
Post # 5
I say just be honest. Tell her that the amount of money you are spending is starting to add up and in the grand sceme of her big day – what your face looks like realy won’t matter. haha (no offense)
Post # 6
I’m surprised you have to pay for all that. I was under the impression that BMs only really need to pay for their dresses and shoes. Hair and makeup was covered by the bride because she would have to pay for her own anyway. I DUNNO, I wasn’t a typical bride.
Just tell her you can’t afford it. I can’t imagine what makeup is unacceptable beyond “clown” or “hooker”
Post # 7
Just call her and say that you decided to do your own makeup. It’s ridiculous if she expects everyone to pay for their own. If it’s required and should foot the bill.
Post # 8
@melundie: Agree with the other ladies. Just politely let her know that your budget does not allow for makeup and you will be doing it yourself. And that’s that.
Post # 9
Wow. I probably wouldn’t spend that much for makeup either. I would probably tell her that you’ve already paid so much and that you also find it unrealistic to spend so much on makeup. Alternatively, you could ask her what style makeup is being done for the maids so you could do it yourself or get it done for a more inexpensive price.
Post # 10
Okay, thank you so much! I think sending “approval” photos is a great idea.
I paid for my bridesmaids to have their hair done. I couldn’t justify the cost for makeup–even for myself on my big day–so it wasn’t done. I have never looked back at my photos and though “Gee, I wish we were wearing more makeup!”
Post # 11
I think you should just tell her that you plan to do your own make-up….and hair and nails if you want! I don’t think everyone has to be as pampered as the bride, unless of course she is paying for it. If not, it’s nice to have the OPTION, but you should not be forced to have those services done!
Post # 12
I agree with the idea of sending beforehand approval photos…it shows that you still care and she can have say if she like it or not. I am sure she will understand – weddings do cost a lot, even if you are a BM.
Post # 13
Thank you for looking into professional makeup for the bridesmaids. Unfortunately, I cannot afford that expense. I will be doing my own makeup that morning. I can’t wait to be there!
Post # 14
I think you should just tell her you are doing your own make up, and that you did it for your own wedding as the BRIDE, so you know what you’re doing. I personally dont think I’d send pics for approval. That just opens up the door for her to say, no and that she rather you get it professionally done, and then you have to be the one to fight back. If you just tell her you’re going to take care of it, she has to decide if she wants to be the confrontational one.
Post # 16
I doubt you’re the only one out of the bridal party feeling this way. In every wedding I’ve been a part of, the bride paid for makeup if she wanted us to have it done. $85 sounds like a lot for makeup application…