Post # 1
The husband and I decided to TTC and have already started. Problem is, both of us are afraid to tell his parents if we get a BFP.
On the day of our wedding his mom said to us “Now no babies for at least 3 years” We haven’t even been married 3 months lol. But we genuinely feel like this is the right time.
We just don’t know how to tell his parents. He believes ultimately they will be happy and says they wont lecture about the responsibilities (we already know we’re 27 and already have a child) by my experience has shown that they do kind of lecture and if I get a BFP I will be pretty emotional and likely unable to deal with lectures without crying or something. I’m emotional when I’m PG.
They think we should wait, I don’t know why they just do. They’re the smaller family spoil the kids kind. I’m the bigger family (have enough for the kids of course) spoil the kids with family time and have a close large family kind.
So how would you go about telling your inlaws like this if you were pregnant? My mom will be a breeze, I was over there last night and already they were discussing babies and when we were going to have one, what their names should be etc. So she’ll be easy to tell… His parents not so much.
So how would you tell them? Something cute? Just say it outright? Let husband tell them while I am an hour away at my moms (my favored choice, but I’m an adult here, gotta act like one)
Post # 3
I wouldn’t tell them. I didn’t tell anyone until after first trimester. I would wait until you feel good and right about it to tell them. No rush.
Post # 4
I probably wouldn’t give a crap and just tell them, but that’s because I don’t care what my ILs think but you could always wait until the 1st trimester has passed to tell them.
I think it’s pretty crappy of them to have said that regarding you TTC, it’s sooooo far out of the realm of what they get an opinion on.
Post # 5
- Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo
When my parents got married her mother told my mum that she was “too young to be a grandmother” and they weren’t to have children yet. Honestly it’s none of their business, unless they have legitimate concerns. I’d personally wait till the 12 weeks if I knew there’d possibly be trouble. But I wouldn’t feel the need to uplay or downplay the news in any way, if they are fine with it then great! If they aren’t then it still wasn’t their decision to make 🙂
best of luck with TTC x
Post # 6
@anon656987: My dad is SUPER Catholic. My sister got pregnant when she wasn’t married, with a guy he didn’t particularly like, right after a HUGE health scare which made pregnancy very dangerous…. and Dad was over the moon. It’s kind of ridiculous how happy he was to be a grandfather. So you never know. While she may think it’s good to wait so you have time to yourselves, she’s going to love her grandkid no matter what. Wait til 3 months but then tell her however you’d tell your own mom.
Post # 7
@anon656987: I wouldnt tell anyone (besides husband) that youre pregnant until youre 12+ weeks anyways, especially with your first pregnancy. I know everyone is different, but that is just me. Anyways, I dont think you should be nervous to tell them. You’re 27 years old, not 18. Also, its none of their business! When it happens, tell them but I wouldnt worry about it until you’re actually in the situation. It could happen immediately or could take a while as everyone is different. They may have a change of heart and be thrilled. Dont stress over it! Good luck 🙂
Post # 8
You’re married adults. Who the heck cares what your in-laws think is the “right” timing?!
i would wait until 12 weeks personally. And don’t assume the worst, most grandparents are thrilled to hear that type of news.
Post # 9
I agree with PP’s and say wait until 12 weeks when you’re PG. Have they made other remarks besides that one time? If they’re going to “lecture” they’ll probably say something to you and your Darling Husband no matter if its a month or 5 years after marriage…
When friends and family in my hometown ask my Mum when Darling Husband and I gonna start poppin’ ’em out her first reaction is always “Not anytime soon! I’m too young to be a grandma!” But, I’m quite positive that if we were to announce we were PG, she and my Dad would be over the moon.