Post # 1
Sorry for the long post:
My Best Freinds boyfriend does photography as a hobby and said instead of getting us a wedding gift, he wanted to shoot pictures for our Engagment Party as well as the wedding. Thought it was a great idea considering he has known me and my family for 15 years. I decided I cant just let him do it for free, so I purchased the air fare as well as the hotel room for the weekend.
Well come to find out, he has been shooting a lot of weddings which is wonderful! Only problem, no one is getting ANY of their pictures. He is about 8 months behind and actually told me he lost all of the photos from one of the weddings he shot(and these are weddings that he got payed to do) That scared me. I only plan on getting married once in my life and besides memories and my husband by my side, I want actual photos and scared I won’t get them from him.
Anyways, I hired a photographer. I am nervous about telling him that he will no longer be our photographer at the wedding. I mean, hes more than welcomed to take pictures, but he can’t get into the PAID photographers way. Any suggestions on how to break the news lightly to him?
Post # 3
I’m very glad to hear you have hired a professional photographer for your wedding.
Perhaps you can simply tell your friend that you will be delighted for him to take candid shots but that you and your FI have hired a professional photographer for your special day.
The officiant/ushers are usually more than willing to make an announcement about keeping the aisle clear for the official photographer.
Post # 4
@Laurley_87: I would just tell her that you’d rather her BF be there as a guest so he can enjoy the wedding and not have to work the whole time. He wouldn’t be able to dance, eat with her, hang out, etc. I don’t think they understand that a photographer should be pretty much invisible at weddings. You don’t want her to miss out on attending your wedding basically alone.
Post # 5
@Laurley_87: Good choice! 8 months is nuts and so is losing wedding photos. It will be difficult but it’s important to be upfront about it and be very clear that he will not be the photographer. If you beat around the bush and say “wellllll you can take some pictures” he may try to shoot and impede the pro you hired (there is one at every wedding). Just say “hey we decided we want you to enjoy the day and be fully present so we have hired a professional photographer!” and I think that should be enough.
Post # 6
@Laurley_87: I had the same problem with our ex photographer. He was my fiances uncle, something about his photography I never liked and 2 weeks before wedding finally stood up and said NO to his photography. Sadly my mother in law was pissed and called to cancel him. the uncle was upset because he heard it from someone else.
Like you said: I am not planning to do this again so I knew I need profecional photographer and I got it. Just cancel him, people will be hurt but who cares, you are the one who needs to be suttisfied with your photos.
Post # 7
I assume he’s invited. Just say to your friend that you want her and her boyfriend to ENJOY the wedding.
Post # 8
You could also try the ” someone already purchased a photo package for us as a gift ” excuse.
Post # 9
I’d tell that you heard about how backed up he is with work and that you don’t want your wedding to be an added stress to him, so you’ve gone ahead an hired a seperate photographer.
Not sure how to deal with the room and airfare that you already paid for….
Post # 10
@Amanda_B: So funny you said that. My mom gave me the same advise!
Post # 11
Thanks everyone for your feedback. Sounds like I know what I have to do and just do it! Hopefully, this situation won’t make or break a friendship. I think it is all in the way that I word it.
@cbgg: He himself mentioned he was so far backed up. So, he shouldnt be surprised when I break the news to him. Like the way you worded that.
Post # 12
- Wedding: November 2014 - Philadelphia, PA
@Laurley_87: I would just be honest with him and say that you decided to hire a professional, he’s more than welcome to take some personal shots with his camera, and you’re thrilled to have him at your wedding as a guest.
I had a similar situation with one of FI’s co-workers who is a photographer and has shot several affairs for his family. Upon hiring our photographer, we let him know right away so it would come directly from us and not somebody else, and he wished us the best and told us to contact him with any other vendor-related questions.
Post # 13
@Laurley_87: Say something like ” I really just want you to enjoy the day and not be working”
Post # 14
- Wedding: September 2008 - A tiny town just outside of Glacier National Park
Wedding photographer here. If he really is that behind, he’ll probably be relieved. Tell him you really appreciate his generous offer, but that you’d like him to be able to enjoy the wedding as a guest, rather than working. And don’t worry about it too much. 🙂