How to turn down a request to lend money?

posted 3 years ago in Money
  • poll: Do you lend money to friends?
    Yes : (4 votes)
    2 %
    No : (95 votes)
    51 %
    Depends how close they are to you. : (39 votes)
    21 %
    Lending money just puts friends into awkward situations. : (47 votes)
    25 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    8418 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @littlemiss604:  just say you don’t have it.  I never lend money to friends, it’s too much drama.

    Post # 4
    Member
    4576 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    You can say you dont have it…or you can just be honest: “sorry sister, I dont lend anyone money.”

    Post # 5
    Member
    644 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Just say you don’t have it. Seems like she might be feeding an addiction of some kind…

    Post # 6
    Member
    6960 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @littlemiss604:  You can simply say “I can’t right now”. If she has the gall to ask why not say something vague like “I’m not in the position to at the moment” or, even better, “I don’t feel comfortable discussing my finances with friends, sorry.” Which would HOPEFULLY clue her into the fact that she shouldn’t be coming to a friend with HER financial issues. 

    I’ve had this issue with my family and a couple friends. Once you say no once or twice they usually stop asking. It’s totally uncomfortable those couple times, but then you don’t have the recurring discomfort of playing collection agency further downt the line. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    2055 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @littlemiss604:  Start by realizing your friend is taking advantage of you. True friends don’t do that. You have no obligation whatsoever to help her out especially when you are paid nearly the same and she seems to get by just fine otherwise. YOU are not her bank and YOU can’t afford to have her take her sweet time paying you back. Get a little angry and stand up for yourself. Then approach her calmly and say, “Gosh, I’m sorry you’re having troubles but I am unable help you. Have you tried your (insert sister, mother, bank, distant cousin) for a loan?” Put the question back on her and force her to find another solution, much like you are put on the spot to help her all the time. THE END. You owe her no reason, no debate, nothing. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    2878 posts
    Sugar bee

    @littlemiss604:  I’m not sure why she doesn’t ask her parents or her 2 sisters or her best friends.How do I say no politely without offending her?

    Easy : because they will probably say no and she knows it. For what you know, she doesn’t have a credit card, but I don’t know many people who don’t have school loans and no rent to pay, having to ask 300$ to one of their friends to pay their assurance. I am highly suspicious of this situation, I’m not sure you will see that money any time soon. Just say you don’t have it. 

    I might have watched ”Prince$$” too often this summer, but irresponsible shopping addicts with ”secret debts” and multiple (loaded) credit cards, while their parents didn’t seem to know, happened every single episode. What you say about her makes me think she’s probably this kind of person, unfortunately. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    4212 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I think you should just be honest and say you’re not comfortable lending out money as it can cause problems later. Frankly her money woes are not your problem and it’s not fair for her to try and make it your problem. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    3557 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I loaned money to a friend who was my roommate once. It put cracks into our relationship that started us on the path that led to both of my roommates emotionally abusing me. I will never lend money to a friend again.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1327 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    Just tell her your not able to lend.  Short and simple.  If she pushes for more detail say that it’s not something you can afford now, and keep it vauge.  If she asks again in the future do the same thing and eventually she’ll stop asking you.

    Post # 12
    Member
    10986 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    Does she currently owe you any money from any of her previous requests, or is her “account” with you paid in full as of now?

    Post # 13
    Member
    1662 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Do I lend money to friends? Nope nope nope!

    I was going to say, “Just say no!” But actually I think the other posters have a great idea to instead say, “I don’t have it.” You absolutely don’t owe her this unless you borrowed $300 and didn’t pay it back yet. (No?)

    You can do this! You can. It’ll be awkward the first time you say no, but it’s going to be ok.

    Post # 14
    Member
    42453 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Don’t make excuses, just say no.

    You:”I’m sorry, but I can’t lend you any more money.

    Her: I’ll pay it back. I always do.

    You: I’m sorry, but I can’t lend you the money.

    Her: But you have before…

    You: I’m sorry, but I won’t be doing that again.

    etc etc etc

    Post # 15
    Member
    7070 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I only lend money if I’m okay with not getting it back.

    Post # 16
    Member
    12998 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    If I suspected it was her shopping or just bad spending habits, I would definitely not lend it.  Just say you dont have it.  If you work together, just brush it off like, oh we make the same, if you dont have any spare cash, what makes you think I do! 

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