(Closed) How to uninvite

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3758 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

wow… that sucks… I have no idea how I would do that. Good luck though 🙂

Post # 4
Member
8354 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I don’t think you can uninvite her; just don’t sit them next to each other. The fact that she already booked everything makes me feel like she thinks very highly of you. I am sure that after spending so much money to come to your wedding, she won’t be causing any drama. Personally, I think it would be rude to disinvite her.

Post # 5
Member
3758 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@noritake22: I second this… I don’t think I would be able to uninvite someone after they spent that much money. 

Post # 6
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@noritake22: Agreed…

 

They’re grownups – they should be able to handle being in a room together without causing any drama. I say let her come and enjoy herself, but maybe give the groomsman a little forewarning so he’s not blindsided.

Post # 7
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Taking the airfare into thought I would say you can’t uninvite her.  A good  chance is that she is already trying to figure out how to get out of going.  I say leave it up to the girl herself.  If she wants to go just avoid sitting them by eachother. 

Post # 8
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree with the previous posters.. and if he has a problem with her coming, he should have a conversation with her about how to make the situation work for everyone

Post # 9
Member
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

You don’t.  You don’t uninvite someone once you’ve invited them, ESPECIALLY when they’ve spent that kind of money.  If I were her, I would go have a nice Hawiian vacation and not show up to the wedding at all, but who know what she plans to do.  I would talk to her sister and ask if the ex plans on coming to the wedding or not, but unless you’re planning on reimbursing her the $1200, you don’t get to tell her not to come.  

Post # 11
Member
2091 posts
Buzzing bee

@Okole Maluna: I do think that changes things… Is there any way you (or your FI) could friend her on facebook and ask her what she plans to do? It might be a little awkward but if you word it correctly it might not be too bad.

Just a friendly little “Hey, sorry to hear of your break-up with X. Are you still planning on coming to the wedding? We’d love to have you there but we fully understand if you don’t want to come, all things considered.”

Might be a little too forward for your taste, but it’s the only thing I can think of.

Post # 12
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Aaah… Yeah.

Haha – Opinion changed a bit. Quite a bit. That was just unintelligent on her part (and a bit rude, to make the assumption). It sucks that she’s out 12 grand, but she made the choice… Like a PP said, she could always trade in the ticket and go somewhere else for a vacation or something.

I would just let her know (either by phone or email) that since she’s no longer a significant other to the groomsman she wouldn’t be his +1

Post # 12
Member
3758 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Okole Maluna: In that case, I would just not send an invitation. I was thinking she was already formally invited. While it sucks that she spent the money, you didn’t tell her to and if she was coming as the girlfriend of another guest she should already asume that she isn’t going. That is just my thoughts.

Post # 13
Member
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@cyndistar3: I agree if she was a plus 1 and the invites are not out yet she was never technicaly invited.  If i broke up with someone i would not want to go away with them for whatever reason.  Don’t send her an invite.

Post # 15
Member
550 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Do you know if she even still wants to go? When she made all the travel accomodations, I bet they were with the ex. After ending a 2-year relationship with someone, I wouldn’t want to go to a wedding with him. I agree with the don’t send an invite policy. Hopefully she can exchage her plane ticket to somewhere else since it’s early.

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