How to unthink thoughts?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5839 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

@renwoman:  Have you ever worked with a Cognitive Behavioral therapist? They can help you change how you react to your parents.

Post # 4
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I meditate.  I picture a big stop sign.  Or I pretend my brain is a non-stick frying pan and try to imagine the thoughts rolling right off.   It sounds like you probably need therapy to learn some more coping skills.

Post # 5
Member
10384 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

It takes practice – you have to retrain your brain by actively forcing yourself to think of something else. Over time, you get better and better at it until you don’t have to consciously do it anymore. CBT like @KoiKove:  suggested is a great way to learn how to do it!

Post # 6
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@renwoman:  I second congnitive therapy. There are also several workbooks you can use to the same end. 

In my early 20s I was trying to get over an on-again/off-again boyfriend and found it very difficult. I had to “unthink” a lot. I thought of it like a tape player… I had to switch the tape. I would literally try to think of the hardest things possible. Like, if I started to miss him or remember something about him I’d focus on dividing 327, 651 by 7 or try to remember all of the lines from The Little Mermaid…. whatever I could focus on to get the thought out of my head. And then I’d just launch into some activity to KEEP my mind off it. 

Don’t try to solve their problems, even in your head. When you get off the phone with them, immediately find something else to TOTALLY occupy your mind. Don’t give the thought time to fester. 

Post # 7
Member
6407 posts
Bee Keeper

Rather than trying to force yourself to “unthink” or “stop thinking about” something (this will do the opposite), just let the thoughts freely fall away from you. Learn to not automatically allow yourself to get “hooked” into certain thoughts, but be able to “glide by” the ones you have no need for. If you’re having trouble getting unhooked, use a distraction! Find something more engaging that captures your attention.

Post # 9
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

Oh also, my cognitive therapist gave me this three step plan to deal with my crazy ass mom. I wish I could remember it exactly (my journal is still packed away somewhere). But basically, I needed to focus not on what she said, but how it made me feel and change my reaction. So I would identify the source of stress, identify my feeling associated with it, acknowledge what I was inclined to do about it and then decide a better course of action. For you it might always be the same – your parents’ drama stresses you out, you feel powerless and overwhelmed, you want to try to fix everything, you need to focus on your own life & goals instead. 

Post # 10
Member
10384 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@renwoman:  Most people that have sought out CBT/extensive therapy have gone through similar things :-). Good luck!

Post # 11
Member
2358 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Posting to follow

Post # 12
Member
292 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

This might sound silly but when a few years ago something happened in my life and I couldn’t stop thinking about it, I’d just constantly have images and thoughts and questions pop in to my head, so I treated my mind like an iPhone lol.

You know the way you slide your finger to see a new picture, or the other menu screen? That’s what I did. If I thought of it, I’d just imagine it being swiped away on to a new thought. 

Post # 13
Member
3222 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I use fitness as a means to unthink. I’m under an immense amount of daily stress, and have found that when I start to get overwhelmed with my thoughts, it’s time to hit the gym. The more rigorous the activity, the better. I highly recommend Insanity or crossfit classes. The things I think completely change after I have a crazy workout. I go from feeling anxious and replaying conversations/scenerios in my head to feeling centred and focused on the tasks on my to-do list.

 

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