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Hmm... this is really tricky.
If your mother is paying for the wedding, I would word it like this:
Mrs. Jane Doe
with the memory of Mr. John Doe
requests the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their (her?) daughter
Jane Sarah
to
Mr. So and So
son of Mr. So and So
and Mr. and Mrs. Blankity Blank
Saturday, the date here
year here
location here
If everyone is chipping in, I would word the beginnging: Together with their families. That skips all the confusion, and you could add a line at the bottom "In Rememberance of Mr. John Doe"
Good luck!
First, I think the name at the top of the invitation has more to do with who is hosting the wedding vs. who is paying for the wedding. That said, often the person hosting is the person paying!
Second, I think that if you want your father's name to be included in the invite, the wording should emphasis that he is your father, rather than the idea that he is hosting the wedding with your mother. Most ettiquette books will tell you that you should not include a deceased parent's name on an invitation, but I don't think a rule should stop you if it means alot to you!
How about this?
Jane Sarah Doe
daughter of Mrs. John Doe and the late Mr. John Doe
and
James So and So
son of Mrs. New Name
Mr. John So and So
request the honour of your presence (or pleasure of your company).....
Note: Divorced parents are usually put on different lines without an 'and', because including the 'and' would imply they were married.
Hopefully this helps!
My dad was so angry with my sister for having his name at the top of the invitations even though he paid for the whole thing. He was embarrassed...before you commit to anything I would ask everyone if they're ok with it. My sister was so upset that he was mad it was just a lot of added unneccessary drama..
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So my tricky situation for the wording of my wedding invites goes as follows..... My (Bride) father is passed on and my mom is not remarried. My fiances family his parents are divorced, mother remarried, father not. Please help, how in the world do I word this? I want my dad to be included on the invite!!!