How to word invitation when my father is solely paying for the majority?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@beautifullyboheamian:  together with your families sounds good. Maybe instead of recognizing him on paper, do so by making a speech and thanking your father for helping as he did to make your day special. Of course make sure to thank everyone for being a part of the day, but thank him specifically for making your dream wedding come true.

Post # 4
Member
8425 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@beautifullyboheamian:  We had a thank you section in our wedding program since our moms helped, but we paid for the majority of the wedding so we didn’t list them on the invites.

Post # 5
Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@beautifullyboheamian:  I feel like any mention of who paid (even if it’s subtle) is soooo awkward for the guests.  I was recently at a wedding where the brother of the groom thanked his parents for “making this whole wedding possible” and the bride’s parents for “welcoming him into their family”.  It seemed really unpleasant to me, to point out who paid and who didn’t.  And we were guests of the non-paying side, so that was awkward too.

I understand that you want to recognize your dad for his generosity, but if it were me, I’d do it in private (nice gift, nice letter) instead of talking about money (even without saying it directly) in front of the guests.

Post # 6
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m not sure if you read Emily Schuman’s blog but this was her invite:

So basicly her parents, as the host of the party were the ones inviting (even though his were obviously also there). So you could do something similar but put your dad in the spot where she put her parents.

I’m not sure how this goes etiquette wise but I disagree with previous posters that it is in poor taste to mention your dad as the host. He is paying a lot of money and making the whole thing possible, he deserves to be recognized.

Post # 8
Member
11300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

The person who is paying does not always mean that that person is also the host. I think it’s in poor taste to call out the person who paid for the wedding, personally, since not all parents can afford to help out financially. We stuck with the “together with their families” line.

Post # 9
Member
6273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

my mom is hosting and paying for my wedding.  so only her name is at the top.  i guess it does help that my father is deceased so there is no competition.

FI’s mother is not contributing financially in any way and is not metioned at all.

Post # 10
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think it’s pretty sad that parents have to “pay” for their spot on an invitation. Wasn’t raising you good enough? 

I’ve never even considered this to be an issue EVER, and I think this is a pretty weird thing to even think about. I wouldn’t have cared that DH’s parents didn’t help contribute to our wedding financially, they still brought me my beautiful and amazing husband and that’s the best contribution to the wedding. There wouldn’t have been a wedding without them because I wouldn’t have had my wonderful DH. Why not think of it like that?!

 

Post # 11
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@beautifullyboheamian:  My parents paid for everything, but I didn’t want to leave DH’s parents off the invite becuase they shouldn’t have to “pay” for their spot on the invitation, like a PP said. I acknowledged my parents in my speech, but as for the invite

We did:

Mr and Mrs. Megz06

invite you to share in the celebration of the marriage of their daughter

Megz06

to

Her DH

son of {Mr. and Mrs. John Smith}

Post # 12
Member
10999 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I don’t think that anyone should interpret this format as parents “having to pay for a spot on the invitation.” It really just boils down to who is hosting the event.  Sometimes the host is not the person paying.  An example of this would be a bridal shower that is being “hosted” by the bridesmaids but, behind the scenes, may be being funded by the bride’s mother.

For my DSD’s wedding last year, her father and I and her mother together all paid for various parts of the wedding and reception, while my DSSIL’s family paid for the rehearsal dinner.  However, none of our names was mentioned on the invitation, because none of us singularly was serving as host.

However, when my DH and I were married, my parents paid for everything and were shown as hosts on the invitation, and my DH’s parents’ names did not appear. Whoever is hosting an event tradtionally does the inviting. Having the host(s) names shown as those doing the inviting should not in any way imply a lack of love, support, or family connection between the other parents and the couple.

Post # 13
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@beautifullyboheamian: 

John David Bohmer

invites you cordially

to the wedding of his daughter

Princess Marie the Third

to

Prince Charmington

son of

Phillip and Eugenia Charmington

to take place on…

Post # 14
Member
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I agree with pps! The invitation should list who is HOSTING not necessarily who is paying. The two usually go together but not always.

Post # 15
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If I were you I’d do Dad’s name and mom’s name requiest the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter your name to your husbands name, son of his parents names.

Post # 16
Member
875 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@beautifullyboheamian:  if you want to honor your father i would just use your parents names inviting you to the marriage of their daughter & etc. i would not leave out your mom because that will be a slap in the face and cause drama.

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