Post # 1
My parents and my fiancé’s father are splitting the cost of our wedding. How should we word the invites to acknowledge the fact that it’s not just my parents hosting? Additionally, my fiancé thinks we should mention his mom in the invites. His parents are no longer married and she isn’t contributing anything so I feel like her name shouldn’t be with his dad’s. How do we word this??
Post # 3
@MistySoda: Rather than choose who gets their name on the invitations because they are contributing to the wedding, why not use “Together with their parents…”
The last thing I wanted to do at the beginning of my marriage was to risk appearing to target or isolate the one parent who wasn’t contributing.
There is always a gracious alternative.
Post # 4
@julies1949: That was actually the first thing we thought of doing and we really like the idea. Unfortunately when I ran the idea past my parents my dad had a problem with it. He wants their names on the invites so we’ve got to figure out a way to word it that gives everyone the proper credit.
Post # 5
@MistySoda: The problem with that is by crediting your parents and his Dad, you are making conscious decision to single out his Mom.
Perhaps this will help:
Here’s the funny thing about people’s names on the invitations — everyone thinks it signifies who’s paying for the wedding, and a lot of the time, the parents listed are paying — but the larger meaning is that they are hosting the reception. “Hosting” is a word with flexible meaning. Parents can be official hosts — they planned the party, they invited the guests, they paid — or honorary hosts. Maybe the couple paid for their own wedding, but still want to honor the bride’s parents and the groom’s parents on the invitation. Technically, all four parents can be listed on an invitation without putting a penny toward the wedding. (This usually isn’t the case, of course.)
It’s more diplomatic to list all four parents, even if the bride’s parents are putting more money into the wedding. If nothing else, it’s a wonderful way to reach out to your new in-laws. And these days the bride’s parents aren’t really giving her away anymore — why should the groom’s parents get shafted on the invites?
Post # 6
It’s such a sticky situation though. His mom isn’t really in his life. His dad raised him. He didn’t want her to get upset if she got an invite and everyone’s name is on there but her’s. But I also think his dad might get upset if they are both on there in the same place (implying she is also a host) since really the only reason she’s on there is that she gave birth to Fiance.
Post # 7
your parents names
along with Fiance parents names
invite you to the wedding of there children
A special thank you to:
For making this day even more special?
Or else just make her a special invite with her name on it, and send everyone else a different one? Unless you think she would see the others? Its hard to please both of them. What a pickle.
Post # 8
@ThyLadyThompson: can you say “son of moms name” after his name.