(Closed) How to word parents when mom and step-mom have the same first name?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I would maybe put it as “Mr. and Mrs. Tom Smith and Mary B. Smith” (assuming Mary B. Smith is his biological Mom and not Mary A. Smith).

Post # 4
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Woah, tough situation!

I have two thoughts, not sure if they’re grammatically correct, just that they would help me read it more clearly.

1) Ms. versus Mrs.

2) a comma separating the two “sets” of parents

so “…son of Ms. Mary A. Smith, and Mr. and Mrs. Tom and Mary B. Smith”

I do like including middle initials as well, or, if they’re both comfortable you could even consider adding a “nee [maiden name]” to each of their names (I couldn’t figure out how to put an accent in, sorry!)

Post # 5
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I would put “he is the son of Ms. Mary B. Smith and Mr. and Mrs. Tom Smith.”  I think by putting the biological mother first, it’s a little clearer what the biological relationship is.  I may be the only one who reads into it that closely though.

Post # 7
36 posts
  • Wedding: September 2011

I agree with eva!

“…the son of Ms. Mary A. Smith and Mr. & Mrs. Tom Smith” Everyone is covered without any confusion! 🙂 What an odd situation though!

Post # 8
374 posts
Helper bee

Hhhmm.   I would really call a place that is upscale and does wedding invitations.  They should know the proper wording etiquette on this one.

But here is my opinion.

I like the use of [nee].  I assume the Mary’s have the same last name because his mom never changed her name after the divorce and the new wife took his last name as well.

First let me say that it is very respectful of you to include the step-mom.  I suppose it matters little if she is a new comer or has been w/him forever.  It’s sticky. 

So, with that in mind here is what I think.  Bottom line is that it all dpends on who raised him.  If his mom, then he should ask her if she’s OK w/this wording.  If not, the dad should give him the check off. 

Groom’s mother, Mary [nee] Smith is from Town State; his dad Tom and his wife, Mary [nee} Smith are from   OR if Groom doesn’t like that wording he can say:  Groom’s mother, Mary [nee] Smith is from Town State; his dad Tom and his step-mother, Mary [nee} Smith are from

I think you are sensitive not to include names in the invitation and your choice of “Together with their parents” is excellent.  However, your quandry is w/the interent website.  Maybe my idea would work for you.

Print out all the options we give you and look at it in black and white.  Make a choice.  Sleep on it. The next day revisit it.  It is easier to see things printed than to hypothetically envision it.


Post # 9
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Omg there are more of us out there! DH’s mom and stepmom have the same first name and it’s so weird! So we call his mom by a short form (let’s pretend her name is Christine) Chris, and then his stepmom we call Christine. That’s how we wrote it in our program and on our website. To avoid family politics we used “Together with our families” on the invites.

Post # 10
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

that is so awkward! i’m surprised his mom didn’t change her name back to her maiden name knowing that her husband’s new wife has the exact same name!

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