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I would have it changed to:
_____ of _____ accepts with joy
_____ of _____ declines with regret
And then you can hand write in the of #. That's what I fully plan on doing.
I left it up to chance and fortunately, no one responded +1. A friend of mine actually wrote the guests names in for them on the line. It was a little "forward" and blunt, but everyone knew who was invited and who was not...so she got her point across.
Talishazwi's suggestion is a good one, and I've also heard of bees writing:
2 seats have been reserved for M____________________________
If you only have a single, replace the 2 with a 1 obviously. Hope that works!!!
I'm definitely doing the ___ of ___ attending with me filling in the second blank!
Thanks Ladies
@Talishazwi ...I may do that. I definitely don't want to incur any more $$ or burden the etsy designer by having to print multiple RSVP cards.
Good Ideas!
I'm going to do
We have reserved ___ seat(s) in your honor (fill in the number myself)
M _________________________
___ accepts
___ declines
~~~~~~~~
Sadly, you'll still have people write in whatever they want. I'm going to try to cover my bases and hope for the best.
we did the same thing that Kittyachi mentioned above and didn't have any problems with people adding people. We did have problems with people not filling in the name part so I recommend doing the hidden numbering so you know who the cards are from if that happens :)
We have the same concerns, so this is what we did:
Number of Guests Invited: __________
Number of Guests Attending: ________
That way there was no confusion.
I was a bit forward in my RSVP wording and pretty much worded my response cards exactly like @kittyachi, the only thing is that I had the calligrapher fill in the names of the guests who were invited.
I just sent out my international invitations and the domestic ones are going out towards the end of the month, so I'll let you guys know how people respond.
I like NeliBee's idea of having a calligrapher write in the guest's names, or you can do this yourself if you have nice handwriting. I am DIYing my invitations and plan on making 100 different RSVP cards listing the invited guests, but I think hand-writing them in is a great alternative!
This is the twenty-first century, for heaven's sake! Anyone who is providing vendor services for printing should be able to use mail-merge, with which technology it's no harder to print cards with a hundred different names, than to print them all identically.
I was worried about this too and already had my RSVP cards printed so I couldn't add the "seats reserved in your honor" line. And I didn't have an inner envelope either so I ended up adding a belly band around the invite and treated it like an inner envelope. I had my calligrapher write the first names of those invited on the belly bands and slipped them around the invites. I didn't do this for all the invitations, just for those few that I thought might sneak in extra guests or kids.
I like the "We have reserved ____ seats in your honor" way. It's concise, polite and REALLY MAKES A DIFFERENCE! I can't tell you HOW MANY Rsvps we received with extra guests when only ONE person was invited. As I stated on a previous post, one single guest RSVP'd FIVE people. Definitely put something on the RSVP card that indicates how many are invited to accept.
@aspa - I guess it wouldn't hurt to ask! I have no idea, as I never print things like this (<--- Science Teacher here!)
I did the same thing as Kittyachi it worked fine, there was not one person who wrote in a different number or didnt get the point.
I like verosaras! Im also putting 'we promise to dance if you play this song________', I actually stole that idea from a fellow bee and FI and I both love it! That way everyone will look forward to their favorite song as long as its not YMCA..lol
I posted this in another thread, but what we did was:
The favor of your reply is requested for _____ attending by January 10, 2010.
Then we filled in the blank with a number. We used an online RSVP script customized that included all names of guests already, and no way for them to type in additional guests.
I did this:
We have reserved ___ seat(s) in your honor (fill in the number myself)
M _________________________
however, even when I put 1, I'd still get phone calls from friends begging to bring their +1 boyfriends or dates because they don't want to go all alone. They would only call, and not email!
I feel this is the most polite way possible, (Etiquette wise) but just remember to keep your scripts straight when you receive those phonecalls!!! because if you let person A bring their +1 but then realize you are going over the guest count, it'll be a huge headache when person B finds out (After you say no to person B...that is!)
Listing the number of seats is totally the best way to do it IMO. Printing individual RSVP cards probably will be expensive.
But here's the thing...if people are determine to bring their uninvited guests, they will probably do it, no matter how clear you make it.
Let's say that you use either of the options mentioned above that indicate a specific number of seats. For example an invitation for the Jones family for 4 seats. Let's say little Johnny is unable to attend so Mrs. Jones decides to bring a completely random person that you've never met to fill that spot even though the invitation was addressed to the Jones family. Her reasoning might be, well the invitation says I have 4 seats reserved for me so I should be able to fill those seats however I want even though etiquette-wise this is the kind of thing that gives brides nightmares.
I was actually brought as this "extra person" when I was in high school (and didn't know better). I went to a family wedding with my boyfriend's family because his brother was unable to attend. I had been dating that boyfriend for probably a maximum of 3 months and had never met the bride, groom or any of the extended family. At 16 I thought, "fun! a wedding" but now at 26 this still makes me cringe.
Despite this my FH and I are probably going to do the ____ of X invited because the above situation is the exception. I just wanted to let you ladies know that it is unfortunately not 100%.
Thanks so much for this thread. I had the same question!
I’ve been thinking about the same thing. I’m worried my and my FI family will think they can invite anyone. That’s just how our familys are. So I’m going with this:
RSVP
We look forward to
celebrating with you.
We have reserved __ seats in your honor.
Please reply by June 16, 2010
M____________________________
____ Number attending
_____ Decline with regret
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Okay...I am getting my invites designed/printed through a fabulous etsy seller. She has asked me about information for the RSVP card. All of her other designs (and the sample she sent me) have a pretty basic RSVP card:
M ___________________________________________
_____ accepts with joy
_____ declines with regret
RSVPs due by XX-XX-XXXX
But, I am worried about friends/family adding a +1 or children that are NOT on the envelope (only doing an outer envelope).
I know some actually have the invited guests names printed ON the RSVP card, but since I am going through etsy, I don't know if it is ridiculous of me to ask her to print 100 DIFFFERENT RSVP cards.
Any suggestions on how to handle this? Do I just go basic and then call anyone who adds an uninvited guest? I am also trying to be proactive by encouraging guests to RSVP online where I have entered the exact names of all invited (this will be listed on the RSVP card) but I know that some will just opt to send in the card...
TIA!