Post # 1
FI and I are mostly paying for our own wedding (I’d say about 75%). His family isn’t contributing (financially or emotionally, ha, but that’s another story!). Originally I was going to write something like “along with their families, X and Y request the honor of your presence…..”
But that feels wrong to me because my familcomas contributed a lot. My mom has given us money that took years to save, and my aunt and grandmother are also being incredibly generous. And that’s only financially – they’ve also been t every wedding appointment, helped me run errands, came up with ideas, basically were 100% involved.
so it feels wrong not to acknowledge their contribution. But Im not sure how to go about it because its not like my parents contribute together – it’s my mom, aunt, and grandma. How do you word that without it being awkward? And as ridiculous as it sounds, it also annoys me (and would annoy them) to put their names alongside FI’s parents names when they couldn’t even show us the tiniest excitement or encouragement along the way. Petty I know but true.
Post # 3
forget who is paying for a minute.
who is hosting? since you are mostly paying, i say you are the hosts, why don’t you say:
invite you to share and celebrate at their wedding
you can always thank your mom, aunt, etc at the rehearsal dinner or reception.
Post # 4
@NYBeee123: I would first ask them and see what they want. My parents are contributing financially and his aren’t, even in the slightest. So, when picking out my invitations I asked my dad what he thought. I was all prepared to get something along the lines of “Mr. and Mrs __ request the honor ….” or “Together with her parents…” but my dad shot it down saying it was all too stuffy. Now my invitatios say “it is with great pleasure and joy that we invite you to celebrate the marriage of…” There are ways to do it that don’t point in any direction.
If they really want the adknowledgement on the invitaion, you could say (if you want to adknowledge all three) “Together with her mother, grandmother and aunt___…” or if you have a more caual vibe maybe “Together with the women of the ___ family…” The last one would make me smile! If you think it’s all too long- I would stick with, “Together with her family…”
Remember you can always adnowledge them during the reception in a speech (you can ask your MOH to include this, or your DJ?)
Post # 5
@NYBeee123: We have the exact same situation. My aunts, mother, grandparents are financially contributing. We made a general your presence would be appreciated at our wedding in the invites… but put Special Thanks in the programs where we thanked each person that contributed individually.
Post # 6
Similar situation. FI and I are paying for most of our wedding. His family is helping us, financially and emotionally. My grandma is helping out a bit (making our favors, co-hosting a bridal shower). We just used, “along with their families.” I didn’t want his parents’ names only on there because that would be weird, but I didn’t want my mother’s name on there. I didn’t feel like I could do his parents’ names and my grandma’s name, either.
Post # 7
@NYBeee123: An invitation is not a sponsorship brochure giving top billing to the biggest contributors. It is meant to define five simple clear facts: WHO is having the party, WHOM they are inviting, to WHAT, WHEN, and WHERE. (“Why” and “How” are left to the recipient’s speculation.) “WHO” is the hostess: the person who is taking personal direct responsibility for the safety, comfort and entertainment of the guests under her roof, and who will be personally disappointed if those guests fail to attend. The funding sources that the hostess is relying on are irrelevant, as well-reared people do not discuss cash nor disclose financial details, in polite society. In this case as in most modern weddings, that person is you. If you want to honour your parents, then name them as your guests of honour. If you want to be egalitarian, then invite your future inlaws as your guests of honour, too. After all, they may not have contributed any money, but they did contribute the most important thing without which no wedding could be taking place.
Post # 8
@NYBeee123: Acknowledge them at the rehearsal, the reception, or in the wedding programme.