Post # 1
Hi everyone! This is my first post. 🙂
Question about invites: I know most traditional invitations reference both sets of parents. However, my fiance’s situation is somewhat complicated so I’m not sure how to approach it.
His parents are divorced and his mother has retained her married name. His father has remarried so there is also his stepmother to consider.
If I mention both his mother and father on the same line, it might appear that they are still married and I’m sure they wouldn’t be happy about that! Also, am I expected to mention his stepmother on the invitations anywhere?
Thanks in advance!
Post # 3
What about "Together with their parents Sarah Smith and Rob Johnson request the honor of your presence at their wedding ….." … that one usually encompasses all without having to name specific names.
Post # 4
Wow, that makes it so much simpler! Great advice, thanks! 🙂
Post # 5
A great way to get wording ideas is to check out invitation websites — they’re great eye candy too!
Post # 6
The "together with their parents" is a really great option, especially if either you and your FI are actually paying, or all parental groups are contributing equally. The tradition of having the bride’s parents at the top of the invitation:
Mr. and Mrs. BridesParents Request the Honor of your Presence…
stems from their traditional role as hosts of the wedding/reception (in other words, it’s their party, because they paid for it). There is really no reason to put the groom’s parents on the invitation unless they are co-hosting (footing at least half the bill), although some people do list the groom as "son of Mr. and Mrs. GroomsParents," which is a nice way to acknowledge that they managed to raise him to this point, and apparently did a pretty good job.
If you really do want to include his parents, you would list them as:
Mr. and Mrs. John GroomsParents (his dad and stepmother) and
Ms. Jane GroomsParents (his mother).
Post # 7
The last post is the way I normally address invites with divorced/re-married parents as well!
Post # 8
Wow, I hadn’t actually thought about where the tradition of naming the parents stemmed from but that makes total sense. I didn’t realize that leaving the groom’s parents off the invitation was even an option. Thanks! 🙂
Post # 9
It’s me, Amanda. 🙂
We had the same problem with our parents. We just said, "Together with their families, A & B request…"
Post # 10
The groom’s parents would traditionally host the rehearsal dinner, so that’s the invitation where they get to be at the top.
I am absolutely for the "together with their families" option, particularly today when the normal arrangement is that a lot of people might contribute financially (including grandparents), and also where the family structure gets complicated. If you feel the need to delineate family somehow (father of so-and-so, mother of so-and-so) or give particular thanks for some contribution, the program is a nice way to do that. My mother made my cousin’s wedding dress, and was very happy to find a mention of that fact in program we were handed at the ceremony. (Special thanks to Aunt Lillian…)