How to word "the wedding is off" in an email?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 4
419 posts
Helper bee

@BrideToBe14:  What you have sounds perfect. Prepare for lots of ‘OMG what happened’ responses. Perhaps just make sure you get ahold of everyone (if they have more then one email, use all of them) and then NOT read the responses unless you are mentally prepared to deal with them. Good luck! However- I would make sure before you send it. My aunt canceled then uncancled a wedding and it was irritating. So if they’ve already bought tickets you might as well calm down for like 24 hours before you email. 


Post # 6
356 posts
Helper bee

@BrideToBe14:  I would keep it short and sweet like you have it above. You don’t need to include details. But do expect alot of responses asking how you’re doing. Right now you need to worry about you, even though its hard not to worry about every one else. They will understand this is a hard time for you…

Post # 7
10906 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@BrideToBe14:  Since your wedding was not scheduled until October, I presume that you did not yet send formal invitations to anyone? Did you send save-the-dates, or are you just “canceling” for those who know your wedding date by word-of-mouth?

Post # 8
7936 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

You dont have to explain shit about shit and I would have someone else do this for you. (mom?) Just write one email and BCC everyone.


Dear guests,

The wedding between BrideToBe and Asshole is no longer taking place. Our sincere apologies for any inconvenience.


Thank you,

BrideToBe’s mom


Post # 9
372 posts
Helper bee

Yes, short and sweet. Maybe have someone else send it (your mom?) so you’re not bombarded with the “OMG what happened?!” responses….



Post # 10
2455 posts
Buzzing bee

@BrideToBe14:  I am so sorry! *hugs!* this must be awful…

With the kind of personality I have, in cases that can be overly emotional or bad news I try to be as “official” sounding and aloof as possible so it’s just me and you don’t have to take my advice. I’d probably write something like:

“I regret to inform you that due to unforseen circumstances we’ve had to cancel the wedding.

Please accept our deepest apologizes for the inconvenience this has caused.”


It does sound a lot like what you wrote I just prefer to feel more removed from the emotions (i.e. the wedding vs our wedding) and stupid things like that. And I recommend apologizing FOR the inconvenience so you acknowledge that it DOES have an impact on your guests, not that it may or may not – the way “if” sounds.

Sorry if I’m being nit-picky. Unfortunately even though this is such a rough time for YOU, many guests will still be thinking about themselves.

Post # 11
2878 posts
Sugar bee

I think you’re rushing things. Maybe it isn’t the best time to try to word anything right now. I understand your guests have bought flights and reserved hotels already, but it’s months down the road … I’m assuming they did that after you sent the STDs, not the invites ? I’m sure in a month, they can still have a refound. And you’ll have time to sort things out. I also think your parents should help here. It’s already upsetting enough for you to go through this, maybe having your parents take care of their guests and your ex-FI’s parents take care of their guests explaining the situation, is the best way to go. Not email. 

I’m really sorry about this. But I think it’s too much, too soon for you to take care of alone.

Post # 12
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@MrsBuesleBee:  I like that one, and you’re right. She doesn’t owe anyone an explanation.

Post # 14
810 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@MrsBuesleBee:  +1

@BrideToBe14:  Could your mom send this on your behalf? Make sure it’s a BCC so you don’t blast everyone’s email to the world. That’s just a personal pet peeve.

Sorry you’re dealing with this, but as someone who has gone through a wedding cancellation, it is SO much better to have a failed engagement than a failed divorce. Shit happens, but it’s easier to cancel a wedding than go through divorce. Hugs, and stay strong.

Post # 15
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

OMG my heart goes out to you. I would just notify my guests and let him do his, you don’t have to do this for him.

Post # 16
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

“I regret to inform you that due to unforeseen circumstances, the wedding has been canceled. I realize that this will likely cause much inconvenience for you and I am deeply sorry. Please know that this was the best decision for both parties and we are both doing alright.”


Something like that. Feel free to make the wording better!

I think it’s short and sweet, apologizes since it’s more than ‘may cause inconvenience’ at this point, and you’re assuring them that it’s not the end of the world.

I don’t think it needs to be crazy formal since presumably you know all your guests fairly well.

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