Post # 1
I have been/lived with my fiance for almost 5 years now. We live in a small apartment and have accumulated a lot of things over the past years. When asked where we are registering, we realized that there was nothing for us to register for! Of course if we had a house we could use more big ticket items (since we’d have the space) but we honestly have no where for anything else and are quite content with what we have. 🙂 ALso, buying a home isn’t in our near future … there’s other things we’d like to do while we are young 🙂
With that said, we would love to have the type of honeymoon where it’s highly unlikey we will be able to make it back there again …somewhere tropical (which means it could get expensive) So is there an easier/better way to tell our guests that if they decide to still give us something, we’d prefer cash for the honeymoon?? I don’t want to come off as rude or anysorts like that … help??
Post # 3
You can totally ask for money toward your honeymoon. This is actually pretty popular these days and I don’t think anyone is offended if that is an option. Word of mouth is your friend. If you let key people (parents, wedding party, that friend who is the world’s biggest gossip, etc.) know that you would most like money for the honeymoon people will contribute. There are also several honeymoon donation website, but they all take a cut of each gift, so pros and cons to that. I, personally, would also have a small registry for people that don’t like giving money to a honeymoon. Maybe there are things in your apartment that you would like to upgrade?
Post # 4
Google honeymoon registry or search the boards… There are a few sites out there that you can do this through and it’s a little more comfortable for the gift giver than a PayPal link or just asking for cash.
Post # 5
We have a honeymoon registry on Wanderable*. We like it because almost none of the gifts are lost to fees (people’s gifts are essentially deposits to a PayPal account), and you can really separate what you want into “give-able” bits. Here’s our wording for that, if it helps:
Thank you for visiting our Wanderable honeymoon registry! We’re very excited to plan our visit to Charleston, a place we’ve both wanted to go for a long time. And we’ll get to see it for the first time together!
Our budget covers our accommodations, but there are many things in Charleston we’d like to enjoy, and you can help us create memories to last a lifetime!
*Warning: a few people here on WB, and in real life, flip completely the f##k out over honeymoon registries or asking for anything for the honeymoon, calling it rude and tacky. Ignore them. Ask for what you want. Your friends want to give you what will make you happy.
Post # 6
@JenGirl: Thanks!! that makes me feel better 🙂 We were going to have a very small registery for the little things we could use and upgrade on for my bridal shower (bc who wants to sit there and watch me open a card with cash in it every time?? lol) plus, for those guests who prefer to give an actually gift.
Post # 7
and we were looking into the honeymoon registeries but wasn’t a fan of them having to pay a fee with every transfer. But i LOVE the wording @professorgirl on your registery and those “people” who find it rude is who i was hoping to avoid! haha
Post # 8
@ProfessorGirl: “*Warning: a few people here on WB, and in real life, flip completely the f##k out over honeymoon registries or asking for anything for the honeymoon, calling it rude and tacky. Ignore them. Ask for what you want. Your friends want to give you what will make you happy.”
Personally I think your comment is rude. Everyone has a right to voice an opinion just because it is not the same as your opinion does not make it any less valid. Also people who oppose cash registries are just presenting a different side of the arguement and it is very likely that some people within your guest list will feel the same way. If someone wishes to offend some/all of their guests that is entirely up to them but it is helpful to hear both sides in order to make aninformed decision.
Just to give the opposing sides main points:
-some guests may be offended and give you a white elephant gift because they are uncomfortable giving cash
– it isn’t prudent to rely on gifts to fund your honeymoon, for the simple fact that you might not receive very much and then what do you do?
– requests for cash (and only cash) can put undue pressure on guests to go past their budget for your gift so they do not appear “cheap”. Some people like to shop for a bargain ie read your registry list and then source the item from elsewhere cheaper so getting your $100 sheets for $50. personally i would hate to think that Great Aunt Mary was going to miss lunch for a week because she felt pressured to give more than she could afford so she didn’t appear cheap!
Post # 9
@j_jaye: I agree with everything that you wrote.
Personally, I always just give cash/checks at a wedding. I wouldn’t ever give to a honeymoon fund/registry because I personally don’t agree with them. Regardless, I’ll give you a check and you can put it towards whatever you want.
If you want cash, you should tell both of your parents and ahve them spread the word. “X and Y are saving for ___, and would love contributions for that” rather than expressly writing it somewhere which to some (including myself) comes off as rude.
In the end, it’s your day and you should do what you want. But saying “just ignore people who find it rude” is a bad call If it’s such a polarizing issue on WB, it’s going to be a polarizing issue in real life. However, only you know your guests and whether or not they’ll be offended. In my circle, it would be a very big taboo and offense to do a honeyfund registry, but, again, that’s my circle, not yours.
Post # 10
I also agree with what you said. Me and Fiance are in the same situation – we live together and don’t need any household items to speak of. But we’d wouldn’t imagine asking for cash, I just can’t wrap my mind around the concept. I wouldn’t judge someone else for doing it, but for me it is poor etiquette. We are requesting “no gifts,” but if someone chose to make a charitable donation that would be great. (We’ve also been told we’ll be receiving a handmade work of art from a family member, which is perfect.) No registry of any sort for us. Personally, I don’t understand how a bride and groom expect anyone else to finance their honeymoon – it isn’t part of the wedding – but to each his own.
Post # 11
There may be a few things here and there you would like to upgrade, take a second look and see. You can create a small registry and spread the word that you are saving for a really nice honeymoon. People can take that hint, so there is no need for you to broadcast it.
Registering for a honeymoon in many circles is the same as overtly asking for cash, which is rude. Cash is always an acceptable gift, no need to tell people. The most polite way for you to get cash is the above paragraph.
Post # 12
thank you for all of your imputs! we talked about it last night and came up with the idea to register for things we could upgrade on at home and things we could use ON the honeymoon (beach towels, luggage, camera, etc) as well as using word of mouth that we are saving up for things …