Post # 1
I have kind of two questions…the first is about the wording for our invitations. We’re having Mass during our wedding and I feel like I should let people know so they can either a)prepare for Communion or b)prepare for how long Mass is (non-Catholics). We are hosting so I figured we could say something like:
Bride and Groom request the honour of your presence as they are joined in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony during a Nuptual Mass on Our Wedding Date at Our Church. Obviously this would not all go on one line, but does it sound okay?
Second question: How do I let my guests know that my church has a dress code? For example women can not wear strapless dresses anywhere in the Church, including guests at the rehearsal and wedding, and men can not wear hats. The coordinator was very adament about this. Even my wedding party will be wearing little shrugs to cover our shoulders…so how do I tell guests what they can’t wear without sounding like I’m telling them how to dress? I’m afraid if I put “dress modestly” or something on the invitation, some people won’t get what that means. Help!
Post # 3
@Dallas2014: Ok, well first I wouldn’t put it directly on the invitation. I would put it on a seperate card that goes inside the invitation. And you could say something like this.
Out of respect for the sacred nature of the wedding mass and church, please cover bare shoulders and back while inside. Thank you!
Post # 4
Our wording was something along the lines of:
We joyously request
the honor of your presence
and your participation in the sacrifice
of the Nuptial Mass uniting …
names, details, etc.
Post # 5
I put most of this information on our website, including a request for “cocktail dress”, in the formal sense of the term.
Post # 6
I didn’t add any additional information to my invitations about it being a mass. I figure when they see it’s at a catholic church there is a 50/50 chance it will be a full mass. Mine were worded…. Bride & Groom request the honor of your presence as they exchange marriage vows August 17, 2013 St. Joseph’s Catholic Church.
You can also put a note in your programs about communion etiquette and prepare them for the length.
Post # 7
I would not put a dress code in the inviation. I’d provide a variety of shawls at the church, so when guests enter, they can borrow one to cover their shoulders.
Post # 8
@Dallas2014: Usually people just say “blah and blah request the honor of your presense at the nuptual mass…” It’s clear that you’re getting married at a NUPTUAL mass, so you don’t need to “holy sacrement of matrimony” unless you want to.
As for the dress code, I would put it on the wedding website and spread the news word of mouth. If, however, that isn’t possible, I would add an insert that said something like:
“The bride and groom request your help in preserving the sacred nature of the sanctuary by asking all guests to dress modestly while in the church. Please cover bare shoulders and backs. Men are requested to remove hats upon entering the building. Thank you!”
Post # 9
Make sure you spell it correctly. “Nuptial Mass”
Post # 10
If you’re concerned that people will be wearing strapless dresses, I’d add an insert to the invitation, add the note to the website and spread the news by word of mouth. I would not offer wraps at the church- it’s just one more thing for you to collect, then you’ve got to make sure people see the sign or the wraps and get the hint.
Post # 11
I found this on a website (can’t remember which one!) and will be using it/a variation of it for our mass:
Mr. and Mrs. John Alex Smith
request the honour of your presence
at the Nuptual Mass uniting their daughter
Mr. Nick Allen Ames
In the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony
Saturday, the twenty-second of August
Two thousand and fifteen
at nine o’clock in the morning
Saint Matthew’s Roman Catholic Church
New York, New York
Except I have to do a little rewording because we are paying for the wedding ourselves with a little financial support from each set of parents
Post # 12
I really like @mmr66‘s wording. Ours was similar. Just make sure you spell it “nuptial” not “nuptual!”
As for the dress code, I really would not put dress code info in the invitation. On your wedding website maybe, but not the invitation. Honestly, no one is going to turn people away at the door if they show up with their shoulders uncovered. It would be nice to try and spread the word, but don’t worry about it too much.
Post # 13
@bluebonnet: lmao! I copied that from the website into my “notes” on my computer, nev proofread it! Haha
Post # 14
@Dallas2014: 1st, a liturgy is only about 15 minutes shorter than a mass, so “at such and such Catholic Church” on the invitation should be enough for guests to know it’s going to be long. I’d put more info on a wedding website.
For the dress code, I’d like to think people should know that, by virtue of the fact that it’s in a church. But, again, I think that information is better suited to the wedding website than the invitation. Is the wedding coordinator really going to be standing at the door turning people away? You can be expected to ensure your wedding party is dressed according to the dress code, but you really can’t control what people wear. Even if you tell them what’s appropriate, you can’t make them wear it. It is respectful to follow your church’s guidelines, but at the same time, I’m sure it wouldn’t take too long to find a scriptural reference to trump the coordinator’s desire to bar people from the church. Anyone who indidcates that someone isn’t welcome in a church kind of has their priorities screwed up, if you ask me. Don’t get me wrong – I’ll be pissed off if someone shows up to my wedding in jeans, or a tube top, but I won’t turn them away from the church or the reception.
Post # 15
Thank you all for your suggestions! I am mostly worried about people not understanding the dress code because the majority of our guests are friends who are not Catholic. I am worried about strapless/bare shoulders since we’re getting married in Dallas in June…so it’s going to be pretty warm by then. I think the insert will be a good idea. I feel better 🙂
Post # 16
@Duncan: not all Catholic Churches require bare shoulders though. Plenty of girls get married in strapless dresses or bridesmaids have strapless dresses.