Weddingbee boards

On a lot of posts, particularly many of the common "big issues" I realize that a good deal of my opinion comes from my attitude towards tradition in general.  Proposals and rings, name changes, living together pre-engagement.  Also the little things like bouquet tosses and invitiations.  For me, it almost always comes back to a general guiding mindset and not something specific to the topic at hand. 

Because it's Friday and I feel chatty (and because there's such a diverse set of backgrounds and opinions here), my question is how traditional do you consider yourself?  How is this affecting your wedding/marriage planning?  Or are you very modern or unconventional in terms of your general attitudes but still having a traditional wedding?  Or maybe vice versa??  Do you have similar views to your partner?

Also there is a poll because they are fun (and because I'm curious about the distribution 'round these parts).

@septcabride: Thanks! :) I was hoping it would be an interesting and mostly just fun to share.

I suppose I should answer my own question - I'm of the "traditions should be subverted or ignored" mindset, my fiance is pretty unconventional (he wants us to walk down the aisle together, which I LOVE) but occasionally he cares about stuff that makes me go :\.  I compromised on the traditional/gender-split wedding party, surprised myself by how much I liked having a (non-diamond, albeit) engagement ring, may compromise on the vows, refuse to compromise on the name change.  It's weird because he's very modern/unconventional in a lot of ways, but occasionally cares about stuff.  Sometimes it catches me off guard.

ETA: forgot the funnniest story about this!  He wanted to ask my dad for permission to get engaged (even though we had no proposal... that's my adorably inconsistent boy).  I caved and let him, but my Dad knows his daughter well.  His answer was "Why the hell are you asking me?  She does what she wants."

I would say with our wedding, on a scale of 1-10, I was an 8 in terms of traditional. Even though my dad didn't walk me down the aisle, a man still gave me away (my brother). We had a pretty conventional, religious ceremony. Our reception was brunch so that was a little unconventional, and we didn't have the bouquet or garter tosses, but it felt very traditional wedding. We had toasts, cut the cake, I wore a white dress, etc. 

I would like to say our marriage is pretty nontraditional. We consider ourselves equal partners and thus far we both do things equally in the household. However, I can't say that gender norms don't play a role in how we live our lives. I also feel like, by virtue of the fact that we are a young couple that decided to get married instead of living together indefinitely, we appear traditional.

Something interesting that this brought to my mind - its so nice that once you are married, how traditional you are suddenly is only YOUR business, for the most part! During wedding planning, friends and family are so quick to evaluate your choices, but I feel like now that we are married, our decisions about how we will conduct our life together are much more private. Of course, once you have kids, you open yourself up to criticism once again!

@Pinot Noir: Double-posting and thread-hogging (is it less rude if I started the thread??) here, but I am really interested in what same-sex couples do regarding tradition and gender roles, because a lot of things do end up being totally different issues and decisions in same-sex marriages and weddings.

One of the things I personally really have trouble tradition-wise with is dealing with gender roles and expecations in an opposite-sex marriage.  I'm a bisexual woman marrying a man and it just feels like things fit into certain expectations which are not who I am or want to be.  I think maybe it exacerbates the friction the issue causes because he knows my greatest reservation with getting married is not about him as a person, but not being sure I want a "him" in the first place.

We are a mix of traditonal and non-traditional. We lived together for over 2 years before getting enaged, but my FI DID ask my dad for his permission to marry me. We are getting married outside and having a friend officiate for us with no religion or mention of God in our ceremony. We are not getting married in my hometown. I am wearing an ivory dress with a normal veil and having a green and white bouquet with ivory shoes!! I am having just my dad walk me down the aisle.

In terms of our daily lives - he cooks and I clean - dont know where that puts us on the scale! However, he wants to be able to work enough so that I can stay home with the (future) kids and thats what I want too!

@Pinot Noir: This is a bit off topic, but its really refreshing to hear your perspective. Would you mind sharing why you choose not to use the word marriage, even though you are having a wedding?