Post # 1
Hey guys! So I am originally from the North (Long Island, NY) and I moved down south at age 11. I consider myself to have grown up here in TX. Around here, girls get engaged a lot of times by their senior year of college and marry soon after. It seems like all of my friends are getting engaged and settling down so young. Does anyone else live in a place where this seems to happen? I feel like I am under a lot of excitement/anxiety to marry my bf at my young age of 21 [by the time we marry, I’ll be 22 & he will be 25]. I know I want to marry him, but I wonder if I was living in LI if it would be so pressing. Thanks.
Post # 3
It’s definitely a different dynamic. I’ve lived in Queens, NY my whole life, and there was definitely no rush at the age of 21 to get married. Most of my friends were in their late 20’s / early 30’s. Personally, I was 27 when I got married and 32 when I had my daughter. Additionally, if my daughter wanted to get married straight out of college, I think I would question it. I think most here try to have their careers established before marriage / family starting.
In short, I don’t think the pressure is the same here as it is there to marry so young.
Post # 4
@fainavach1992: I live in New England and that definitely isn’t the norm up here. We tend to marry later in our 20’s. We do have people who marry young, but that tends to be the exception rather than the rule.
I don’t know how true this is, but I have read and heard that people who are better educated tend to marry later in life. This is true in my family and FI’s family as well. My paternal Grandparents married at 21 and 23. Neither of them finished High School and they divorced before they were 30 (many reasons, not just age related). Mom’s parents married when they were about 26, they both have Bachelor’s Degrees, and they’ve been married for over 55 years.
FI and I won’t be married for another 2 years; I’ll be 27 and he’ll be about 28.
ETA: Just want to make it clear that there are many reasons why someone may get married young or may choose to wait longer. Education and region may have a lot to do with it, but it probably doesn’t tell the whole story.
Post # 5
Ring by Spring is very prevalent in the South. Many times, people are mature enough and stay together forever, but a number of friends have divorced in their late 20’s because they just hadn’t given themselves enough time and room to grow into who they now are.
Post # 6
I’m from NH, but moved to SC when I was 16. I’ve def seen more pressure to marry young in the South…
And then they are divorced/seperated by age 25.
Post # 7
Most of these people have been together for years, but I do not doubt many divorce.
It’s very young and I really appreciate you all giving your take.
Post # 8
That’s pretty much not normal around here, most people are 25 or older when they get married. So no, you probably wouldn’t be feeling the same way in NY. Most of my friends that married early got divorced. You shouldn’t get married because everyone around you is.
Post # 9
When I was 20/21 I was in no rush to get married, and I’m glad I didn’t marry the guy I was with.
Take it slow, you have your whole life ahead of you.
Post # 10
- Wedding: September 2014 - Dallas, TX
I live in Texas too and it is definitely not the norm in the rest of the country. All of my friends here are engaged/married and have been married for a while. FI and I went to school in California. Not a single one of our friends from CA are even engaged. I definitely think young marriage is more prevalent in the south. We are both almost 26.
Post # 11
We have a mix. I only know 1 couple that got married right out of college, but we had several that got married a couple years out of college. Then another group when people had finished graduate school. So things were fairly spread out with my friends. We did, however, have a crap-ton of babies at our wedding. 8 babies under the age of 1. Our friends are having babies left and right.
But I would definitely recommend to figure out what will work with you and your relationship. Don’t be pressured by other couples getting engaged. There’s no rush!
Post # 12
- Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI
I felt like I noticed this just watching “Say Yes to the Dress”. The brides on the NYC show seem to be on average older than the brides on the Atlanta show. I feel like I have seen many more brides still in their teens to early twenties on the Atlanta show and more brides in their 30s in NYC. I know it’s just “reality TV” but it was just something I noticed.
Post # 13
I live in the south and it is very normal to marry young/your high school sweetheart young. 18-22. I’m 20 and just got married to mine.
Post # 14
@fainavach1992: I live in Texas too! Almost everyone I know got married (or is getting married) between the ages of 18 and 22. Then I see my cousins in other states not getting marrived til they are or are almost 30!
Post # 15
@fainavach1992 I grew up in NJ but went to college in Kentucky and I definitely saw people getting engaged and married at a very young age. Don’t feel pressure to get married, think about..in the NYC area people for the most part don’t get married until their late 20’s. Don’t worry about what your friends are doing, do what’s right for you and your SO.
Post # 16
- Wedding: May 2015 - Jellyfish, Punta Cana DR
@fainavach1992: Hi Love! I am from (and currently still live on) Long Island. I was 30 when I got engaged and will be 32 when I get married. Most of my friends did not get married until after 27.
I know for my FI and I, we wanted to finish grad school, buy a house (LI homes are very expensive) and get situated in our careers first. Now, I will say we pushed the idea of marriage to the side for a few years because I became pregnant and we now have a 2 yo. So, we we aiming to wed around 28.