Post # 1
Or, did it even matter to you?
The last few weddings I have been to, the priest and rabbi knew at least one of the people in the couple very well. Like they had grown up in their respective congregation. It made the cermony that much more intimate that the officiant was able to speak about the couple personally, I really loved that.
FI and I joined a parish in our town that we really liked and have been semi-regularly attending mass and other parish events to get to know our priest. I don’t feel like we got very far in that, though. We had one sit down with him about a year ago which was really great. He’s very personable and friendly, and I was anticipating more sit downs with him leading up to our wedding. But nothing like that was required of us. Then we had to attend 2 pre-cana events, neither of which were held at our church with our priest. I was hoping they might also be opportunities to get acquainted.
Anyway, here we are a month out and I feel like he knows nothing about us. I would be surprised if he knew our names! I know I could have done more to foster a quasi-friendship with him but what do you do really? “Hey Fr. John, wanna grab a beer with us sometime?” We sent him an invitation to the reception but I almost felt awkward about doing so.
At this point, there’s not much we can do about it. We’ll make more of an effort after mass this week to grab his ear, I guess. Have any other bees been in this situation before? Please share!
Post # 2
BurlapnLace: We really wanted someone we knew and loved up there with us. We are not religious though, so it was easy to ask my uncle to do it. He had spent a lot of time with DH and me as a couple so I felt like the ceremony was that much more special with him there. He even paid tribute to my grandfather (his father) who had passed away 2 months before the wedding. Which honestly wouldn’t have meant as much coming from anyone else.
Not the same position, but we knew ours very well. Good luck. At least you like him! I’ve been to weddings where the bride and groom didn’t even like their officient from the few times they’d met him.
Post # 3
We knew our minister very well. He baptised me, baptised my son, unfortunately had to do our sons funeral, did our marriage classes, married us and then baptised our other son.
We use to attend church every weekend but haven’t made it in awhile, but our minister is now gone from our church so I guess it doesn’t really count
Post # 4
We attend church every weekend and he was the one who helped me get into classes to become catholic! We say hello every weekend we leave church and we also get big hugs from him and he knows my FI side of the family pretty well! Nice guy, hard to understand sometimes, but a nice guy!
Post # 5
BurlapnLace: WE found ours through a company online – they coordinate officiants basically.
we met with him, felt he understood us and our vision, we hired him. We met him twice before the wedding and spent probably not more than 2 hours with him but it was great.
We debated asking my uncle, who is an Anglican Priest, but decided against it for many reasons.
Post # 6
I really wanted someone who we felt a connection to and that he/she could truly capture the essence of who we are for our ceremony. But it felt like a far-fetched dream since even though my FI and I are both Christian, we are from different religious backgrounds so we had to choose an officiant who was “neutral.” I LOVE our officiant!! She was highly recommended on Weddingwire, Yelp, Knot, etc. but didn’t know if we would get her personally since she’s the owner of the company that hires out reverends/priests/rabbis. But after putting in my request with background info on me and FI, she sent me a personal email stating that she felt we were a good fit and would love to officiate our wedding.
When we met with her, it was like we were all from the same “soul group.” (not to sound woo-woo!) My FI and I felt like we’ve always been lifelong friends with the Reverend, and her take on life and weddings was exactly and everything I was looking for. But the BEST part is, I had always secretly wanted to be married by a shaman. Lo and behold, when I shared this with her I discovered she actually IS a shaman! I feel so lucky that I will have the best of both worlds at our wedding ceremony. 🙂
Hahahhaha can you tell I’m absolutely over the moon about our Officiant 😉
Post # 7
- Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast
We don’t know ours very well. We met him once for about 20 minutes just to talk about the wedding. Will probably meet again just to go over the ceremony details. My dad has known him for a long time though so he might know more about me than I know he does?
Post # 8
My DH is close with the priest who married us, but he didn’t really talk about us as much during the ceremony as I thought he would have considering their long friendship. Oh well! Maybe if you are concerned you can reach out and ask if he’d like to meet up to learn more about your relationship so he can prepare for the ceremony? I always think it’s nice when the ceremony talks about how the couple met and fell in love.
Post # 9
MechEBee: That’s very sweet. It sounds like you have a very meaningful ceremony.
imhisoneandonly: I’m so sorry to hear that. I’m sure having to go through that with someone you knew so well made the process a little more bearable. I am hoping to stay with this parish depending on where we move to. It’d be nice for our priest to baptise our future children and say, “I remember when I married you guys”. That’s the kind of rapport I’m looking for.
Wilson2Bee: That’s great! Sounds like a couple friends of ours; the husband converted and has been very involved and the wife grew up in the church. Their daughter was recently baptised there as well by the same priest.
MsGinkgo: You can find ANYTHING online these days it seems! I’m glad it worked out so well for you!
Post # 10
My aunt is an ordained minister, so we asked her to marry us. She is my daughters godmother and my favorite aunt. It was great having someone marry us who knew us so well.
Post # 11
We’re actually going with a non-denominational officiant that we don’t know very well. She did, however, make an effort to ask us questions through a survey and all her shining reviews say that she makes the ceremony very personable to the point where guests think there has been a prior relationship.
Post # 12
The ceremony was the most important part of the wedding for us so we asked the pastor at our church we were closest to.
I had helped lead youth group with him for 2 years and my DH and I were mentored by him and his wife for our pre-marital counseling for 6 months before the wedding. It was so special being married by someone who knew us so well. 🙂
Post # 13
BurlapnLace: REALLY well. We asked my brother to get ordained online to perform the ceremony and he was amazing! I couldn’t have asked for a better officiant and it felt really personal.
Post # 14
We didn’t know ours at all, but it was a judge not a religious officiant.
Post # 15
my rabbi wasn’t available. so we rabbi shopped. as part of the process, we met with the rabbi we chose 4 times before our wedding. we feel she got to know us and our ceremony was meaningful. but it was meaningful because DH and I did our own vows.
the last wedding i went to, the rabbi was the was bride’s family rabbi for her whole life and i didn’t think he did a very good job. he also said a few wrong things about the couple during the ceremony.