We announced ours before hand… and it worked for us.
We are Encores, and older though, so that might make a difference… a lot of families would be peeved if their 20 or 30 something children got married and didn’t include them in the festivities (as a Mom, I know I’d be upset with mine)
In our case, we got Engaged, announced our Engagement to folks, and told them we were planning to get married over the Christmas Holidays… out of town, in the sunshine, on the beach.
Some of our Friends & Family expressed a STRONG interest in coming along
We told them no… it wasn’t what we wanted
We have a lot of great LOVED ONES in our lives… people who LOVE us very much… and were truly OVERJOYED that we found LOVE again at our age.
So it became apparent that there were some hurt feelings.
I felt we had to make ammends (Mr TTR didn’t feel that as strongly)
In the end we agreed together to have / Host a Back Home Reception after the Honeymoon…
It was an Evening Party (8 PM to 1 AM) and very informal. Cocktails & Hors d’ouevres – Cake & Champagne – and a DJ & Dancing
We went low key with NO Wedding Attire, NO Vow Renewal, NO Flowers, Bouquet or Garter Toss
We did have a Wedding Cake, Cake Cutting Ceremony, Toasting, and a First Dance
As there are no real rules for a Back Home Reception Party… you can do as you please. Formal / Casual – Big / Little – Wedding like or not.
The Event was a lot of fun. Everyone (including us) had a good time.
It gave everyone a chance to celebrate, and feel like they were part of our LIFE CHANGING event… and was a good milestone for us (vs just coming home and not celebrating)
Any hard feelings / hurt disappeared entirely.
Hope this helps,
PS… We once upon a time thought of just getting married and not telling anyone a thing (not even an ERing before)… BUT as romantic as it sounded to us… we realized that it would be hurtful for the people we love and care about… they would have definitely felt “cheated out” of having the opportunity to be part of it all on some level. Hence WHY we had a regular Engagement, a private Wedding Ceremony… and an inclusive Reception.