How would you deal with your mother in law in this situation?

posted 3 weeks ago in Family
Post # 2
412 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I would be very annoyed as well. The baby talk is gross. She needs to get a life. I don’t know what can be done other than your fiance talking with her about it and establishing boundaries. If I were you, I’d ask your fiance to tell his mom to not come over while he’s recovering and to let her know you are handling it. Hopefully she’ll get the point that you are the main person in his life and not her. Ugh she sounds super annoying sorry you had to go through that and happy to hear your fiance is doing well.

Post # 3
3189 posts
Sugar bee

Sounds like a bit much, and FMIL needs a hobby. Or something. What does he say about it? If it’s making him crazy, too, he needs to address it with her. Boundaries, stat. If he’s fine with it…then it sounds like a FI problem. 

Post # 4
169 posts
Blushing bee

I don’t really have any advice, but this would drive me so crazy too!!! My mother in law to be just moved to the same state as FI and me. Already she has been freeking out over the littlest things and driving over all the time. I am about done and it has only been a month… apparently, this is why my FI moved away for college in the first place. uhhhh Good luck bee!!! How your FI is feeling better soon!

Post # 9
363 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I agree that MIL might be going a little bit overboard, but she is just worried and probably has overreacted. If it bothers you that much perhaps you should try to negotiate some sort of schedule with her or (better yet) have your FI politely ask her for some alone time (he can say he needs to be just with you to relax for a while or something).

Try not to take it to personally and focus on your FI recovering so she can see he is doing well and go back to her routine. 

ETA: Your attitude makes me really sad. True that I don’t know how “bad” the situation is, but this is a mother worried about his son. A surery is a surgery, no matter how big or small. You should try to be more understanding and appreciatte the help. If your FI is enjoying the attention, then might as well let it be. So many mom-son relationships drift apart when they man marries, so I can’t blame her for wanting to be his mommy one last time.

Post # 10
923 posts
Busy bee

jaimimarie28 :  It never ceases to amaze me how many parents just cannot let their children grow up. I can understand her want to be there for her son, and even give the benefit of the doubt when it comes to *mildly* being annoying– but the baby talk, double grocery shopping, not allowing you to be beside him at the hospital? Yeah, when he comes to and off the meds I’d be having a serious conversation with him about boundaries moving forward, she sounds like the type to take over when baby comes (if y’all have kids) or barge into your home unannounced and just overstepping anywhere she can.

Post # 12
677 posts
Busy bee

blughh this made me cringe so hard haha. That is SO over the top that it’s borderline creepy. How does your fiancé feel about it? 

If this is the first time she’s done it and is otherwise normal, then I’d probably let it go for now, but I would definitely have a talk with your fiance about (HIM) establishing boundaries with her. That’s his responsibility. If you take it into your own hands she’s not going to take it seriously and she’ll see you as the enemy trying to steal her little baby. He’s a grown ass man and he should have shut down this ‘mommy’s little baby’ act a long time ago. 

Post # 15
2842 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Let the guy recover from surgery and then discuss it. For now just grin and bear it. He needs to worry about getting well, not this crap.

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