Post # 1
You and your husband have two children, one is a year old and the other is 10. A day your 10 year old boy told you, he can hear you two have sex when sleep because he isnot a deep sleep one.
What would you do with it? I think it’s a little embarrassed but that’s impossible for the couple stop having sex after that.
Post # 3
- Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World
Well, does a 10-yr old know what sex sounds like? When I was 10, I had no idea…idk…tell him that your back was hurting and daddy was giving you a massage, lol.
Post # 4
If he told you he heard the sound not only once? It’s a delimma problem I think.
Post # 5
It might be a little embarassing but explain that it’s a natural thing for a husband and wife to do. It’s part of nature. It’s what two people do who love eachother. Might be a little young to have “the talk” but I think being more open about it gives kids/young adults a healthier view of sex to begin with.
Post # 6
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
It also depends on what he’s hearing. I would probably tone it down when he is home
Post # 7
@RiverBride13: 100% this. You can start a younger-ized version of “the talk” now. I was 10 or 11 when my parents bought me a body-and-sex book, so it’s not THAT early. Give him the usual — this is something that adults do when when they’re in love, and we can talk about it more in a couple of years.
If he presses you for more info, or seems interested, do what my parents did (they actually pre-empted that situation) and give him some very dry, clinical reading material so that he learns about real people and real bodies and not some nonsense from the playground. What I read was basically a medical text in plainer English and I’m really glad I read it that early. I feel like it gave me a solid base for understanding my body and helped me to feel much less afraid and out of control as I started puberty and growing up.
Don’t think kids that age don’t talk about that stuff, either. They absolutely do, and it’s best to arm him with the real medical anatomical facts so he knows not to believe the urban legends and other really hilariously weird stuff other kids think is true!
Post # 8
On the practical side get a noise machine or a very loud fan. Use it every night so he doesn’t associate intermittent use with you having sex. Kids are very smart!
Post # 9
dont make so much noise or just have the talk with the kid.
Post # 12
god, if I had kids, sex would basically go down to zero with DH. I can’t stand the idea of someone POSSIBLY hearing!
Post # 13
I got ‘the talk’ when I was 5. Sex is a natural part of a healthy marriage, and your son should know that. My mom and step-dad are the happiest couple I’ve ever met, and I’ve stopped counting how many times I’ve heard them go at it in the past 4 years, and I DONT EVEN LIVE WITH THEM!
I think it’s really important for parents to teach their kids about healthy sexuality, and in a happy marriage is pretty much the healthiest place for it to be! Take this as a really great teaching opportunity that has the potential to make your son’s life a lot better than it might be without it.
Post # 14
@AdriannaJean: I got the “talk” about that age as well. Something about when a man & woman are married in love they have sex & sometimes it makes them so happy they make funny sounds.
I grew up hearing my mom’s “business time” sounds (& sometimes they could be loud). Ya, it made me uncomfortable but I am a perfectly well adjusted adult- no long term harm done! I’ve even walked in on them a few times when they forgot I was staying at home for the holidays from college. Ya, it’s emberassing but I eventually just told them to turn on the TV & lock their door. I second Adrianna here, that if I were in your situation, I would use it as a tool to teach my kid what a healthy loving sexuality/marriage should be/look/sound in some cases. It’s emberrasing but ya gotta do it sometime- think about how much more awkward it would be if he were coming to you as a teen with this info!
Post # 15
I would start off by asking him what exactly he’s hearing. As embarrassing as that may be, I think it’s important to determine whether or not he’s actually hearing you guys having sex or if he’s just hearing normal house/outside noises and THINKS it’s sex (probably because some kids at school told him that’s what it was). If it was actually you that he heard, it would also help to know what exactly he heard so that you can tone it down in the future. In either case, though, I think it’s probably time to have “the talk” with your son and explain to him that this is something that adults have to do sometimes in order to keep their relationships happy and healthy.
Post # 16
I don’t think I would have had any idea what sex sounded like at 10…