(Closed) How would you feel…

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
2269 posts
Buzzing bee

I would be very upset, but I’m not sure if I would say anything…This is one if those situations where you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

If it’s only recently happened, I would wait maybe a week and see if she says anything to you. Give yourself a chance to cool off/not be so upset if you do decide to talk to her about it.

Post # 4
Member
1578 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club

Honestly, I’m closer to some of my “newer” friends than the ones I’ve had since high school. I’m sorry she hurt your feelings, but at least you’re a bridesmaid still..

Post # 5
Member
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would be totally upset. I think you have every right to be. Whether or not you talk to her about it… well, I don’t know. That depends on what kind of friend she is and if she’d be able to handle that sort of conversation.

Post # 6
Member
22 posts
Newbee

I would absolutely be upset. I’ve been in those situations where I can’t believe one person is picked over me. 

 

Honestly, I would let it be. I know, easier said than done. You are still friends, you are still participating in the wedding, you still get to make important decisions. You are however saving a ton of money and frustration. Sure some stuff is fun such as dress shopping, but think of the time you won’t spend bagging mints, stuffing envelopes and hauling gifts back to the house. 

Post # 7
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

How do you know that’s the *only* reason? It could be that they are just closer than you and her.

Post # 8
Member
1408 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

My best friend of 15 years (also, half our lives) is not my Maid of Honor although she is a bridesmaid. My MOH is another best friend who I have been close with for approximately 6 years. Years of friendship doesn’t dictate who your MOH is going to be. Maybe they have became closer & you aren’t aware of that. Maybe they share more common interests now?

I wouldn’t be upset, but obviously you are. Have you talked to her about it? I don’t really think it’s appropriate to question who she picks to be in her bridal party though. In the end it was her decision, no matter her reasoning.

Post # 9
Member
1408 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@missmorganista:  Agreed! My best friend from HS is a bridesmaid but my MOH is someone I’ve met since I graduated college. I love them all but I’m closer to people post-high school & college.

Post # 10
Member
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I wouldn’t care about my position in the wedding if my friend thought of me enough just to ask me to participate in her wedding and to stand by her.

Shoot, my sister isn’t even IN my wedding. In any capacity, except as a guest.

Post # 11
Member
435 posts
Helper bee

@girlymetalchick:  

It’s okay to be upset but I don’t think you should say anything.  They must be quite close to each other if they both chose each other as maid of honour.  I know it sucks to feel like the 2nd place best friend but people change and new people come and go through everyone’s lives.  Lots of people have more than one best friend so I’m sure the decision was hard for her, don’t make her feel bad about it.  Just be a good friend and act excited to help her with the wedding in any way she needs.  You are her friend so you should do that whether you’re MOH, a BM, or even just a guest.  She will appreciate your good attitude.

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