Let me preface this by saying this hasn't happened to me, but I have a sinking suspicion it could! One of FI's best friends/groomsmen has been hinting at proposing to his girlfriend sometime this year. Neither I, nor FI care for her (she doesn't seem genuine) and the only reason she is invited is because of our relationship with her boyfriend.
My suspicion comes from the fact that he tends to always try to "one-up" everything we do and bring the spotlight to him in other people's moments. In general, that side of him is verrryyy annoying but he's still a great guy. Like at our engagement he made a speech that kept referencing how he would be "next in line" even though at that point he and his gf had only been together and known each other for about 2 weeks!
Obviously this is just hypothetical because who knows what his actual plans are, but I'm just curious how would you feel if someone decided to propose to their gf during YOUR reception?
I'd be pissed! The only one that she be congratulated during a wedding is the bride and groom.. Just my personal opinion...
Can you jokingly bring it up to him? like, "Hey, don't go proposing to anyone on my wedding day! Wait until the party is over and th elights are off! Hahaha"?? lol
I dont mean to sound self centered, but I wouldnt be ok with that.. and proposing to a gf during someones wedding without asking for permission first is just RUDE in the first place!
I would be upset and annoyed.
I wouldn't be a fan. Unless it was done privately, in their own special moment and then shared at a later date. Day after your wedding? No problem...but during the reception is just inappropriate.
I would be upset that this friend did this on purpose. I would be more upset that a friend could do something like that at a time that is supposed to be celebrating a union of two other people. There are 364 other days out there why would he delibrately try to do that. Its ruins the friendship in my mind. Not a good friend!
I had a dream about this the other night! It was that my MOH's BF proposed, but I knew about it and was soooooo excited for them and helped him plan the proposal.
Honestly, if it were two people I was really close with and knew about it beforehand, I wouldn't be upset.
Unless it was like my sister or best friend and they had already asked us if it was okay I would be pissed. I really don't usually believe in the whole "thunder stealing" BS but there is a time and place for things and someone else's wedding is not the place for a proposal. If you really think it might be an issue I might have your FI bring it up in a non confrontational way to his friend that it really wouldn't be okay with either of you for that to happen. If the friend really wants to propose he can wait the 6 hours until your reception is over .
I'd probably be a bit miffed as the bride, considering the girl isn't my favorite, as opposed to her bring my best friend. If it were someone that I was super close to, I'd probably cry (in a happy way) and be excited for them.
But I think the bigger annoyance would be for the girl being proposed to. I'd be almost embarrassed if my FI had proposed to me at a friends wedding. First because I would've felt it was rude to the bride and groom and their families, and also because instead of getting to have our own moment between us, he would've done it in someone elses moment with someone elses friends/family all around.
this is about one of the rudest things you can do in my opinion - to the bride and groom, but also to your gf. It's actually one of the only things I will not care about being a total bitch bridezilla about.
I think it's in very poor taste. I would do like PP mentioned and bring it up to him in a lighthearted but serious way so he knows that's not an ok thing to do.
Honestly I wouldn't mind. At our reception there were a couple of other occasions for celebration, including the anniversary weekend of some of our friends, another couple who'd gotten engaged a couple of days earlier, promotions, and so forth. As long as they don't do it during the actual ceremony, I'm of the mindset that it just gives us one more reason to celebrate!
But knowing that people have strong feelings on this, anyone considering this would be well-served to ask permission of the bride and groom first, and abide by their wishes if told no.
It normally wouldn't bother me but in this case I would be pissed.
I think it's a very very weird place to propose. A couple did this at my best friends wedding recently. She wasn't affected by it at all on the night but afterwards we had a big chat about how strange it was.
@Galang_Gyal: I wouldn't be happy if I was the bride or GF for that matter
I personally wouldn't be upset (I also wouldn't care if someone wore white), but I think it's in bad taste. I think the only thing that would upset me at my wedding is if something happened to my groom.
Absolutely not.. This is a celebration for you.. I would be extremely upset if someone had done this at ours...
@MsHeatFan: Good idea! I may have to let him know in a nice way beforehand because I could totally see him doing this!
@Jacqui90: @Happy2bMrs: @skipanther: @chasesgirl: @MrsWBS: all good points here and I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who would be beyond annoyed at this.
@AmyFarrahFowler: That's funny that you dreamt about something like this! Lol, yeah if it was my MOH (my sister) and I knew beforehand I don't think I would be as upset as in this potential situation with the one-upper.
Oh HELL no. In my family, we don't make a big deal of birthdays. We don't make a big deal of Christmas or graduation. You get one day to have people really pay attention to you (well, two if you count your funeral). And if someone who is constantly throwing parties and bringing attention on himself takes part of our day, that we paid for with our own money, I am not going to be happy. Maybe that's selfish, but I don't see a problem being selfish when I ask so little to begin with. There are 364 other days in the year that I won't lay claim to with engagement parties, showers, anything. Just give me my one day.
I wouldn't be happy. Especially if I had no warning!
I'd be mad, but not because it had anything to deal with stealing my thunder, inasmuch as it is just tacky and inappropriate.
I think if anyone is gonna propose at a wedding reception they should def get permission first from the bride and groom. A friend of mine's brother proposed to his gf at her DW in Mexico. He let her know ahead of time and she was so excited for him. She lives in AZ and the rest of her family still lives in Mexico so I could see that he wanted to ask when all of the family was together. Her wedding photographer even got a picture of him down on one knee asking, with the bride and groom in the background(sounds cheesy, but it was a cute pic).
But with the situation you said, I wouldn't be happy about it. Maybe have your FI talk to him and tell him to please not propose at your reception if that is something you don't want. Or maybe ask him to do it discreetly and privately.
@MsHeatFan: +1 to bringing it up jokingly to make sure he knows you wouldnt appreciate it!
I too would be SUPER IRRITATED if it happened on my day, at my reception...
a week before? a week after? even a day give or take! anything but on the actual day.
He's the best man? His priorities should be the groom anyway!
ugh, im sorry youre going through this... defo bring it up to him!
Eeekkkk the thought of this makes me cringe! I sure hope he doesn't do this..... So not cool!
I don't know that I'd mind. Well, no, if it were a sister or a close friend, that'd be okay but a random friend and his gf that I don't like -- no. My parents will be celebrating their 45th anniversary at our wedding so a lot of the attention will be on them anyway but I love them so that's okay!
It is not appropriate to take the attention away from your big day. And if you aren't keen on the idea, you should ask your fiance to have talk to his groomsmen. I would not want that unwanted surprise at my wedding.
But, if you are open to the idea, maybe at the very end of the night, (right before the dance), your fiance and you can let your guests know what groomsmen X has something he would like to say and he can do his thing. This allows you keep your special day and it also shows your guest that you are okay with the proposal at your wedding.
It is entirely up to you.
In your case, considering you don't like the girl and this guy has a habit of one-upping people, I'd be annoyed. Maybe you should talk to him about it now and just give him a heads-up that that kind of thing will not be welcome at your wedding. Just in case he really is thinking of doing it there. Better safe than sorry, you know?
But if I knew about it beforehand and actually liked the girl, I'd be perfectly happy to have a proposal at my wedding. It would be exciting and would take the attention off of me for a little bit (I hate being the center of attention). Just as long as it didn't happen while something important was going on, like speeches or first dance or cake cutting or what have you. But just randomly on the dance floor or something like that? Yeah, that would be totally fine with me :)
Oooooo I'm pretty sure I would be pissed. I can just imagine dance floor lights shining on them and everybody watching and then people coming up to talk to ME about it and tell me how great it is that THEY got engaged. NOPE. I'm pretty sure I would walk right over there and tell them to get the f*** out. Whew. For some reason this scenario struck a nerve this morning.
Unless it was someone I loved to death, I'd be pissed. These circumstances sound like the kind that would seriously piss me off. Can you have a convo with the guy and explain that the proposal is really important and to not give his g/f her own moment... how every girl should have her OWN MOMENT for an engagement not piggyback someone else's day. Good Luck
@Galang_Gyal: I would find it rather tacky and embarrassing.
It's too bad you have to invite this couple, ugh.
Hopefully he comes up with something a little better for a proposal. Just try and put this idea out of your mind. I can get stuck on hypotheticals, but really it's a pretty illogical worry, right? And even if it does happen, people are there to celebrate YOU, so it won't exactly detract attention for long.
I guess it would really depend on who it was, but in this situation? No. Your FI needs to tell him that he cannot do this.
I think they would just end up looki g like idiots to the other guests, regardless of whether I as the bride wiuld be upset or not, its just not appropriate and the other guests know it too.
I'd be psi Mac. There is a time and place for everything and someone else's wedding is not the time to decide To propose. I woulno make sure he knew that wasn't going to happen. Maybe it'd be best to have your FI mention to him your this is a huge day for you two and to save that for another time.
id say something like "I watched this show and a couple proposed during a wedding and it was insanely tacky"
Everyone has made great points! Most likely FI & I will casually bring the topic up to him and explain how tacky it is, just in case he had the idea.
It's funny because it's not even like I love basking in the spotlight, it's the one-uppiness he always does that just GRATES ON MY NERVES!!! I only gave one example but it seriously happens sooo often. So that's the main reason I would be pissed about it. Plus the fact that she's not my fav person and their relationship often seems like the Canal Street knockoff of ours. Lol
My jaw dropped when I saw this thread! OMG maybe I'm crazy but I would be so pissed! Your wedding day is all about YOU (okay, and your FI lol) ! I would be sure your FI makes it clear to him that this cannot happen!
@Galang_Gyal: LOL! To the Canal Street knockoff comment!
I would not be happy. It's rude to try and steal someone elses special moment.
I wouldn't be mad if it was a super close friend and I was told/asked about it beforehand. I would be upset if it was someone I wasn't super close with or was surprised.
I would be upset, especially if they didn't talk to us about it before hand. Its your day, not theirs and the spotlight should be on you and your FI.
My family went to a DW together and my BIL wanted to propose to my sister at some point on the trip - my mom almost bit his head off over it and told him he was not allowed to do it before nor after the wedding haha.
I'm actually surprised this doesn't come up on the bee more often...
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