- 5 years ago
- Wedding: March 1998
I am great friends with my cousin’s wife, “Alyssa.” We went to high school together and she met and married my cousin several years later. She and my cousin have been trying for a baby for nearly 3 years, to no avail. Based on some of the symptoms Alyssa has told me about, as well as her family history, I think it’s possible that she might have polycystic ovary syndrome.
My cousin is a substitute teacher and makes *okay* money, but he’s planning on going back to school for some IT courses. He has a friend who works in a high-powered company, and the friend is very confident that once my cousin graduates, he will be able to help him get a job in the same company. In the meantime, though, my cousin and his wife don’t have health insurance.
Talking to Alyssa about the fertility issue is difficult at times – sometimes she’ll broach the topic, but quickly backs off. Other times, I’m just not comfortable bringing it up with her. I know it’s painful and my cousin has told me that several times, she’s broken down crying after hearing about someone else’s pregnancy.
This is the situation: I’m in the position financially to help. If it eventually comes to more invasive means, like in vitro, I probably won’t be able to help. But when it comes to doctor’s appointments, fertility drugs, being prescribed Metformin, etc., I could definitely help. I can also throw her a baby shower later on.
I suspect that Alyssa’s afraid of a high initial cost if she goes to a doctor, but I’m sure she could go to Planned Parenthood and start getting treatment if she has PCOS for a relatively inexpensive fee. The problem is extending my help – I suspect that they wouldn’t take it (she has a hard time even accepting offers of going out to lunch).
I’ve thought about other ways that I could help – including anonymously mailing her information about PCOS, as well as cash to get treatment.
My question for all of you is – how would you feel if someone came into your life and offered to pay for your fertility treatments? I know some of you have been trying for years as well. Would you find it intrusive – or would you be grateful? I don’t want credit for helping them out…the big payment would just hearing some months down the line that she’s pregnant after trying for so long.