- 7 years ago
- Wedding: May 2012
My fiance has been friends with his group of friends since high school, they are a group of boys and there was one girl, lets call her Annabell, who was always the one very pretty girl amongst a group of semi-nerdy IT guys.
Her and my Fiance were always very close and have travelled together twice and actually had a sexual relationship for around 6 weeks which ended in her cheating on him a week before they were due to go overseas, they decided to go anyway and she hooked up with another guy while they were away.
When I first got together with my Fiance he said to me that he will always be friends with Annabell and no one would ever come between them. This was definately meant as a warning to me because my bestfriend and Annabell do not get along, my best friend is actually married to one of the other boys from the original group (a happy coincidence I grew up with my bestie too)
I actually didnt mind Annabell for most of our relationship, I mean she was not my favorite person as she and my Boyfriend or Best Friend could not stand each other and she would make diggs about my Boyfriend or Best Friend, but she had also slept with my Fiance and he was pretty interested in her for a while, but we only saw her occasionally and she was never horrible to me so I didnt mind her.
I also just want to state that this girl has slept withevery boy in our group and admits to at least 100 more. No joke, I am not being b|tchy, just stating the facts.
Once we got engaged this girl has started saying some awful things to me. She has on a number of occasions indicated that I am a gold digger because I came from a poorer back ground (I did, now I have a great job and make decent money, he does make more than me though) admittedly he does have an awesome job and the ering is 1.75ct (actually at my request its really an Asha but she doesnt know that). She asks really intrusive questions about my financial contribution to the house mortgage (I contribute a lot but its still none of her business).
Once after I said to her that my Fiance was the best thing that ever happened to me she said “Yes well he would be he has a house and a really great job” and I didnt mean the best thing financially at all, I meant he is an amazing loving guy and we get along so well and I love him. Honestly yes my parents are pretty poor compared to his family but I earn enough to hold my own and we are both on good money.
She also has said to me on numerous occasions that her and Fiance are soooo close and they are best friends and nothing would ever come between them. She goes on and on about how he has always been there for her and used to pick her up from whereever she had found herself stuck even at like 3am in the morning, and they have done so much stuff together and he was always there to cry on his shoulder make her feel better when she broke up with boys and that nothing could ever come between them – something that I pointed out was inappropriate for her to go on and on at me about and Fiance said he was sure she didnt mean it like that.
She has also just recently taken to saying to me that she could not stand me until recently but I am growing on her.
Up until we got engaged I had met this girl about 5 times in 2 years, since we got engaged she really started wanting to hang out more often and now about 3 weeks ago she broke up with her current boyfriend.
Since they have broken up she moved in with her parents (1 block away from where we live) and has asked to hang out several times with my Fiance in that 3 weeks, like 2 requests this week alone.
She has called 3 times today – once to ask my Fiance computer advice. My Fiance doesnt work with computer support… every other boy in our group of friends is an IT consultant, and one of them is single and she sees him much more often than my Fiance and would be better suited to ask IT advice from. I could give you better IT advice than my Fiance.
I bought up with my Fiance that I am feeling put out by this girl and that if I ever say anything he acts like I am being the bad guy, I said how would he feel if I had a sleazy male friend that said horrible things to him all the time how would he feel if I wanted to hang out with him every two weeks?
I said it was okay when she had a bf but now she will not leave us alone and its not ok to have a single female friend so intense.
He basically said that I need to tone down the negativity and to think these things but not say them.
Am I just being negative? I honestly feel that most girls would have blown up about this already. All I have done is voice my concerns 2 nights ago and he said it seemed like I was saying I didnt trust him. Thats not what I am saying at all, I am saying I am not ok with this girl treating me likee this.
How would you feel in my shoes? I need to know if I am being a can of crazy.
They have not been in a sexual relationship for years and I know my Fiance has no interest in her in that way anymore, though he did at one time really like this girl.
Thank you for reading if you got this far 🙂
Any advice is appreciated.