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In this situation i'd probably be grateful. My So has a habit of telling me like it is and sometimes taking off my rosy colored glasses for me.
Nothing in particular has to happen for two friends to drift apart...sometimes it just happens.
I had a situation where my BM percieved there to be something wrong when there really wasn't, so her previous "yes, I'll be your BM" turned into her sitting on the fence for 3 months. She complained we never talked anymore, but whenever I tried she always had an excuse. The last straw was I emailed her and her BF (also in the party) and my fiancee explaining our schedule and to find a time to hang out. Her BF flipped and basically told me that he told her not to contact me (which is funny, because he was complaining too and also made excuses). They didnt want to fix the problem with us and I didnt want that negativity and wierd feeling with me and the other 'maids (they experienced and felt the same way I did).
Its enough to make my head spin, but bottom line at the end of the day they backed out and I was left with the guilt and yet the weight off my shoulders. The guilt comes because its hammered into your head not to let such things happen in weddings plus because I'm a 'fixer' and I couldnt fix it this time. The relief is because the mysterious 'fights' won't be happening anymore - including the week of my wedding! At the end of the day it sounds like you are ok with it and accepted her backout graciously as she delievered it. I think your FI's actions were a blessing and he did what guys do best - was blunt and to the point. It just worked out in your favor this time :)
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Ok - so I had a bridesmaid back out on me a few months ago...at the time I was a little mad - but not extremely, mainly because she and I HAVE lost touch.
We became friends at work when I worked "downstairs" in the lab (which is where she still is) and once I moved "upstairs" to project management, for a while we were still talking a lot - through email - but she worked 6 a - 2 p tue - sat and I was working 9 a - 6 p mon - friday.
Plus only a few months after getting that promotion, I moved to the other side of town (in with mr junebride) and so we just ended up having different lifestlyes...
Again, though, we were still constantly email ing each other on a fairly daily basis for about a year...I got engaged - asked her to be one of my bridesmaids - she accepted - but I had decided to have a 2 year engagement...
So 1 year after I had asked her - actually around my birthday (this year) she emailed me to say she had to back out. ok.
Yeah - I was a bit disappointed (obviously) but I believed her that she just wouldn't have the time to do it as she's going back to school and will have her clinicals around my wedding...I DID think it was a bit of an excuse - but still believed her.
NOW - a few weeks ago - mr junebride and I were talking and he admitted to me he thinks HE is the reason she backed out. This past August was my 30th birthday and my FABULOUS INCREDIBLE husband planned an AWESOME surprise party for me. Well he was telling me that he had texted this girl about coming to the party and she told him she would be out of town that weekend. So he got all defensive and said something like "you know - aren't you supposed to be one of her bridesmaids yet you two never hang out anymore? if you don't want to be one anymore, you should let her know now rather then string her along"...
so - obviously she backed out a few days later (all this unbeknownst to me, of course...)
Once he told me that though, it made more sense - and as much as I hate to admit it - I'm almost glad she DID back out rather than constantly tell me she's too busy to do anything and not be involved and end up backing out closer to the wedding.
Now granted I was disappointed at the time - but now I'm almost kind of happy he did what he did - mainly because if that WAS her feelings then yeah, she shouldn't have kept going with it...and i AM happy she backed out sooner rather than later (closer to the wedding)...
Funny thing is though - there's absolutely NOTHING bad that happened between her and I. I would fullheartedly admit if I had done something to her - but literally nothing other than just sort of drifting apart.
Anyways though - would you be mad if you found out your FI was the reason your bridesmaid backed out?