How would you feel if you custom designed a ring and your friend got it too?

posted 2 years ago in Rings
Post # 2
188 posts
Blushing bee


I would just straight up tell her, “I’m really flattered that you like my ring, but part of the reason I got a custom ring was to have a one of a kind ring. I’d rather not have a friend have the exact same ring as me. If you’d like help designing something that’s perfect for you, I’d definitely be down with helping you with that, but I’d really prefer to keep my ring unique.” Or something along those lines. Totally weird that she doesn’t get that you don’t want to have identical engagement rings, though. Even with my not custom ring I’d be super not okay with a friend having the EXACT same one.

Post # 3
7185 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I’d be upset. If she wants a custom ring, she should put some work into it and make it her own.

Post # 4
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

If it is YOUR custom design, why would Schubach make if for someone else? FI looked into going the custom route and the jeweler he was considering included a clause in the contract which stated that the ring that FI designed with the jeweler would not be reproduced for another customer without FI’s written permission.

It’s nice that your friend likes your taste, but you guys went custom for a reason. She needs to find a stock setting or spend the effort to create something of her own instead of duplicating your design prong for prong.

Post # 5
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I have a solitaire, so everyone and their grandma has my ring…so maybe Im not equipped to comment, but I dunno…it’s just a ring.

Those touches will have no meaning for her other than it looks pretty, so I think if anything it enhances the sentiment of yours.

And in six months you won’t even notice her ring anymore anyway. I guess I just don’t think it’s worth making it a whole big thing if she really wants it. At the end of the day it’s a piece of metal. It’s how you feel about it that makes it special.

Post # 6
539 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

i would try to contact schubachs and tell them if someone calls asking for your design that they should NOT release it to them.  I got a super common ring (6 prong solitiaire) but if i DESIGNED my ring, i would be in the same boat as you.  I’m sad for you that she is not “getting” it.  She clearly is ignorant to all the meaning in your ring. 🙁

Post # 7
245 posts
Helper bee

I agree that it’s just a ring but as a close friend how the hell can she not see that you went to a lot of trouble to make yours personal, why would she want the exact same? I find that a bit creepy, and would tell her straight that you’re not happy with her having the same ring. You can’t stop her of course but can let her know your feelings, how anyone would think that’s a normal request is beyond me. Oh and maybe call the jeweller explaining your situation and see if there’s any contract with your ring as above poster mentioned, you can’t stop her trying but maybe the jeweller can 😉

Post # 8
2455 posts
Buzzing bee

FutureDrAtkins:  First of all GORGEOUS ring!

Second, this: “It’s cool, I loved your dad too!” <br />Seriously wtf. I’m surprised she doesn’t want something unique and special to her? Something all her own?

This is quite insane of her. I’m sure tons of people have a ring just like mine, plain white gold solitaire :), but I didn’t custom design mine.

I wouldn’t have a problem if say the jewelry store wanted to use my design to sell, I’d think that’s pretty cool, but I’d seriously side-eye a friend who wanted exactly what I have. What a weirdo.

Post # 9
1779 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

If she’s close to you I would straight up tell her that it has personal meaning to you and you spent a lot of time designing it to be YOUR one of a kind ring. If she can’t respect that she’s not too good of a friend.

Post # 10
2179 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

That would irritate me a lot. I agree with the PP and just tell her you are flattered but you and your DH spent a lot of time designing it and it’s personal. If she wants help designing hers she can call the jewler for an appointment.

She seems kinds pushy about this and such this ring is so unique to you I would even go a step further and call the jewlers to tell them the situation and say you do not want her shown your designs/molds etc.

Post # 11
9525 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yeah, I would be annoyed as well. I think you handled it well by suggesting some alterations. But she doesn’t seem to like that idea. So you have to decide if, at the end of the day, it is worth hurting a friendship? Her having the same ring won’t make yours any less beautiful or meaningful for you. It does make it less “unique”, at least among your group of friends. So you have to think about what your priorities are. Is you having a ring that is unique more important than potentially causing drama with your friend? If it was me, I’d probably bitch to my fiance but eventually come around to not making a scene about it. I’d want my friend to have a ring she loves, even if it’s the one that I love as well! But that’s me. Only you can know what will work for you.

Post # 12
2642 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’d find it annoying too. I’d say, “Hey friend, sorry about the miss understanding with your BF.  I just thought you’d want something similar to my ring, but just a big different – you know, something unique to you.  I mean, that is the whole point of making a custom ring.  Don’t you think it’d be a bit weird to have the exact same ring?”  Maybe she just got swept away in the thought of getting a ring/engaged and hasn’t stopped to think how strange it is.

But in the end, you have to let her and her BF make their own decisions.  You got your dream ring and she’s should be able to get her dream ring too.  And honestly, while your ring is beautiful, I don’t find it all that unique.  There are lots of double halo, split shank rings out there.

Post # 13
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Honestly, I don’t think I’d care, but I am not particularly sentimental.

Post # 14
2047 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Boo.  That sucks.  I can see both sides of it though.  You being upset she wants the same custom design you came up with but also her not understanding why she can’t have it too.  Maybe just talk to her about changing it up a little bit so it isn’t 100% the same?

Post # 15
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I think I’d send her a DVD of “Single, White Female”, because that’s just weird (and sort of creepy).

And since you ask the question, I wouldn’t like it one bit if one of my friends got the same ring as me. I decided against an etoile wedding band, because one of my friends has one even though she said it was okay. We are not Tweddledee and Tweedledum, you know?

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