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Newlyweds, did anyone crash your wedding?
Have you ever crashed another wedding?
How would you feel if someone crashed your wedding?
(3 parts to the poll - 1-9; A-D; i-ii - would have included "iii) I have not and would not crash a wedding" if there were room - sorry!!)
Would you guys totally kill me if I admitted that this past weekend I was at a wedding and there was another wedding on the same property - so my friend and I snuck into their reception and danced for 3 songs (the dj was awesome!)? We stayed in the corner and then left, so we didn't bother anyone that we know of...
I never have and I never would because I'd be so paranoid, but I think if any show up at our wedding, we'll just be like, meh, whater, the more the merrier!
I wouldn't mind if mine was crashed and I think it would be awesome to crash one! I like excitement ! (of course not in the popular movie idea of having sex with a bridal party member lol)
I've never crashed, and as much as I want to be laid back, I think I'd be pretty upset if anyone crashed mine - mostly because at weddings I've been at where someone has crashed, the crasher has been a drunken, disastrous mess!
I honestly think wedding crashing is tacky. So is bringing someone who is not invited.
I attended a wedding last year where the 2 guests that couldn't make it thought it was okay to replace them with 2 other guests that the bride and groom didn't even know. They were there for the WHOLE thing. Food, dancing, Dessert, the works!
I do however think it wouldn't be a huge deal if someone showed up JUST for dancing towards the end of the night. That's acceptable for me. I just wouldn't want them mooching on my wedding that I PAID for!
I feel kind of bad about this, but I did crash a wedding with my bestie once. We were out of town, visiting my grandma. We went to the local hotel for a drink (my grandma lives in a really small town of less than 1000 people) so the hotel bar was empty and we asked the bartender what was going on in town that night. He told us about a wedding taking place at the local rec center so we decided to check it out. It's not like we ate free food, or anything like that. We bought a drink at the bar, danced for awhile, took our picture with the bride and then took off. It was actually a very laid back wedding, everyone was in blue jeans and cowboy boots. We definitely stood out.
We had wedding crashers and loved it. Granted it was all friends we hadn't invited, but there was enough food to go around and plenty of booze, so it was all good!
I'm actually kind of surprised that more people aren't vehemently opposed to this!
We had about 5 folks that weren't invited show up. They ate and drank. When I finally got around to noticing them there, I walked right up and told them they weren't invited for a reason and get out or I would have someone show them out. I was annoyed, but didn't let it ruin my evening.
OP- In your case, I don't think I would mind that kind of crashing at all. :o)
Since I'm paying a flat rate for alcohol based on my number of invited guests, the only thing that would bother me is if they jumped into pictures. Otherwise, I'm just going to enjoy my wedding.
@sonj818: oooh I didn't think about pics! I wouldn't want to be in someone else's pictures I don't think!
@daydreamwanderer: I'm more concerned about them jumping into a pic with me and my college girls or something!
It's custom here to open up the dance to co-workers, distant friends, etc... Anyone can come to the dance, so technically, we had a lot of wedding crashers! :)
No one crashed our wedding but one guest did add a plus one that I told her wasn't invited. It was someone I didn't particularly want there to begin with but honestly I had so much fun with everyone else it didn't matter.
I have never crashed a wedding.
I would be okay with someone crashing my wedding if it was a buffet. Plated dinner- not so much.
I think I would be annoyed. I have invited everyone that I love and want to be there. If your not invited. I dont want you to be there and god help you if you show up. lol
I wouldn't care too much if they behaved themselves. As long as they didn't punch grandma in the face and steal her cane I'd be okay. No starting fights and no eating other people's food. I don't care if they drink. I already paid for the open bar so somebody better drink! I've crashed a random dorm party once but I don't think I could crash a wedding.
I don't consider it "crashing" to attend the public ceremony at a church or in a public place; and in most jurisdictions the law in fact requires that the ceremony be treated as a public event, in some jurisdictions even going to the point of legislating that the door to the room may not be closed. I know many modern brides consider their ceremony private, which I find rather skewed. They are going to use the new status conferred by the ceremony to publicly claim certain rights: inheritance, dower property, support, pension, insurance and implicit power of attorney being examples. Those rights are all recognized by the public, so how can the ceremony be private?
The reception, however, follows the rules of any social event: the hostess is responsible for the selection of the company, as she stands as guaranteur to each and every guest, for the respectability of every other guest. A "crasher" undermines her ability to fulfil that responsibility -- quite aside from such tawdry considerations as how much he costs her in food and drink. If he ingratiates himself by being charming and understated, and helping keep the party going, he may win forgiveness; but really, isn't this why hotels and clubs hire security? If he didn't charm me in the first two minutes -- for example, on my way to the house phone to call the venue manager for a bouncer to be sent over -- he would find himself being bounced.
I'd be annoyed if they helped themselves to food and drink - especially the bar, which will be a per-drink cost. Otherwise.. I think I'd just be baffled.
ETA - although a bouncer might make for interesting wedding pics!
I would be rather honored unless they were causing a scene or making people uncomfortable. I am planning to have my wedding in a public park and I am so hoping to get pics with kids who came to play (just more random weirdness from me LOL). Honestly I would be honored that people thought we were having such a good time they wanted to join in. I just hope no ex's show up 
.
We actually has ceremony "crashers." The entire staff of the synagogue was so excited about our wedding that they asked if it would be ok to attend. We were honored, and said yes.
For the reception, our only real concern was accidental crashers--people who didn't realize that this wasn't a normal night at the club where we had our reception. We told the security staff that they should let in anyone who could name either one of the brides. Then again, we had a fixed price open bar and had far more food than we needed.
Once my invited guest has had enough to eat and drink and once they are not there to cause any trouble i won't mind...i am actually having an off duty police officer there to ensure that if his exwife and her family shows up, which i'm sure they will, they won't even make it in the building
Love this thread!lol As long as I have the room and the food, Im fine with it. Unless they try to make trouble, then no.
If I am paying per head for the catering and I have a caterer doing a head count, I'd be mad.
I was at a bridal fair several months ago and I got into a conversation with a vendor, a DJ and he said "hey I'm doing this wedding at the Blackhawk next weekend. You should come by and check it out and see me in action." That automatically turned me off, and let me know he wasn't the vendor for me. The fact that he was inviting me to basically crash at someone elses wedding reception to drum up business for himself. Now, I wonder how many people did show up at this poor couples wedding reception, and take advantage of their hospitality at this DJs invitation.
We had "crashers" at our ceremony. It was in a park, and my husband is a police officer, so he was wearing his uniform, along with our 6 honour guard. I think people thought perhaps some sort of of public event was going on, and then obviously were embarrased to get up and leave once the bride started walking down the aisle. I kind of noticed, but was like..hmm... maybe those are DH's relatives that I haven't met?
The only thing that sucked is that my family is notoriously late, so the crashers had taken up most of the chairs, and many of our actual guests had to stand.
But, funny story more than anything at the end of the day.
I used to do stuff like this in my early twenties. Once we crashed a wedding and made jokes about where the bride and groom had run off to, only to find we had in reality crashed some sort of a church banquet. Oops.
If people crash my wedding, cool. As long as there are leftovers, they can eat, and as long as there's leftover booze, they can drink. All I ask is that they not be dicks, not mess with anyone's purses and things, and not wreck up the place.
@daydreamwanderer: I am trying not to dwell on it, but I have been warned by the staff at my venue that wedding crashers are quite common there. Apparently since it is normally locked people will take the opportunity to be able to come in and explore. I am not thrilled about it, but really what can I do?
For anyone interested, this is our venue: mrps.org
Well, happy end to my personal crashing story: my friend who got married last weekend (the wedding I was legitimately at) talked to the owner of the venue, who had talked to the couple whose wedding we crashed, and they were THRILLED to have crashers! So apparently we made their night :)
Again, we didn't eat or drink anything, just danced to a few songs and then ducked out again. I don't even remember seeing the bride or groom, to be honest.
I wouldn't be bothered at all--I'd laugh it off and think it was awesome, and DH would, too!
I "crashed" a couple wedding Masses because our church schedules them at the same time they schedule confession... and I needed to go. Bad. There was actually a small line of people, it wasn't just me.
Of course as Aspasia said it's not considered crashing to go to the nuptial Mass, you're not allowed to have private exclusive Masses of any type. Anybody can always come and worship with you.
It was definitely awkward, though... I was dressed in a skirt but NOT wedding clothes... and the bride and groom passed right by the confessional on their way out the door. I tried to make it better by smiling big at the bride. She looked at me like WTF.
I posted this same story on another thread awhile back, but we totally had crashers. This older couple (30s-40s) who must have snuck in the side entrance (I was just arriving, so people were trickling in) and then, once I spotted them and got the "Who the F are those people?" look on my face, which they saw, scooted right back out that same entrance, drinks in hand. I was mildly annoyed but we had no shortage of drinks, so it's all good. But their furtiveness makes me think they might have been well-practiced at crashing--maybe that's their hobby! Haha.
If I didn't know them I would think it was hsyterical!
If I knew them and had purposely NOT invited them...not so much. I'd show their asses to the door.
We had crashers - 2 of them. Psuedo crashers. DH's charming childhood chum (whom I'm vented about before on the Boards) randomly met 2 people at the Lodge and invited them to "a party." They stayed for a bit while DH and I were out doing about 15 minutes of photos. They didn't realize it was a wedding, and she was horrified when we walked in. She walked right up to DH and apologized, grabbed her husband and left. I was way more pissed off at the childhood chum then at them.
I have no idea how anyone would crash our 80 person, lodge-located-off-the-beaten path wedding, but I'd be impressed if they did. And I would tell them to leave since I'd have no idea where to put them.
I accidentally crashed the wedding of my sister's college friends when I was 14. My sister had RSVP'd for herself and then we all decided I would go too....and I don't think she'd told them. When I realized they didn't have a place setting for me I was mortified and at first refused to eat or drink anything since I hadn't been invited.
Honestly, if they were friends and family who had said "no" then came, no big deal.
If they were people who we didn't want there at all.... yeaaaaah, they'd be given the boot...
One good thing about wanting to have everyone we know reserve the cabins... it keeps the "riffraff" from showing up ;) Also keeps the owners very happy with us and will probably let us get away with anything but murder... ;) lol
@MissHelen: We had a 60 person wedding in a Lodge in a small town in Alaska. And lo, 2 crashers. :)
I'd be so damn paranoid that I don't think I could ever pull it off easily!
I attended a wedding a couple years ago at a big hotel resort. There was an Indian wedding taking place next door and we snuck over to watch a little bit of it because it was so different and interesting! Just stood in a corner and didn't eat or drink anything though.
I would be absolutely livid if someone crashed our wedding. We have very carefully selected our guestlist, and if you aren't on it you are definately not welcome at our black tie event!
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