Post # 1
I got engaged a few months ago and I’m super excited about my wedding as any girl would naturally be. It wont be until next year (2013) but I like to do alot of things early because I’m super organized. I have already found a potential wedding dress which I love and have found all my bridesmaid dresses too! I was super excited abou the bridesmaid dresses as they were the exact colour I wanted and the styles were awesome. Some people did not share my excitement…4 out of my 5 bridesmaids loved the dress and 2 werent even there but liked it from the pictures.. but my closest friend did not like the dress and verbalised it in a not so nice manner as soon as we left the store! I know you cant always please everyone but I thought I was being resonable as the dress is priced very well and it looks good as it can be worn in 15 different styles.
I was angry about this but the thing that topped it all off was that she told me she disliked my wedding dress and this hurt! I love the dress and not everyone has the same tastes when it comes to clothes but I would be the one wearing it not her in this case. When I confronted her I was called a “bridezilla” because I let her know it was my wedding so it would be my decisions. I didnt think this was bridzilla like tio was just the truth..I was in a wedding last year and didnt even like the dress I had to wear but I didnt say anything cause it wasnt my wedding and it’s what the bride wanted and was her “vision” for her big day I felt honoured to be part of her day.
Do you think I have a right to be upset?
Post # 3
I think you have every right to be upset. When you’re a bridesmaid you do everything you can to make the bride happy in my opinion. You picked dresses you love and that’s what matters. It’s about what you want.
Just ignore her… I went through the same things and they just don’t get it
Post # 4
I would be pretty irritated if someone called me a Bridezilla and I think that term is used far too often. I actually think it hinders brides from being more forward with what they want in fear of being deemed the awful “B” word. I have noticed this in my own experience as well.
As for your bridesmaids while they are entitled to their opinions there is this funny thing called tact. If you don’t have it then keep your opinions to yourself, there is a time and place. I would just tell them that this is your wedding and while you appreciate their ideas you need to do what is best for the overall vision you have.
That being said BM dresses constantly change styles and are discontinued. I think it is a bit early to be sold on something.
Post # 5
I’d be upset and would ignore her. There’s a point where you become unreasonable but you don’t sound like you reached it. 4/5 bridesmaids is pretty good odds for picking a dress! And she really has no say in your wedding dress.
Post # 6
That was bratty of her to say, and I’d be hurt too…and no, picking out a dress does not qualify as “bridezilla’ behavior.
Its way too early for you to be having them buy the dresses. Looking, sure, but not buying. 6 months or so is typical for the BM dresses. See the post from earlier today where a girl changed her mind after all the dresses were purchased – with well over a year to go, your vision, colors, budget, and other things could change. I know its hard – but just wait.
Post # 7
Hmmm…I think it would depend on how you told your friend. If you had an attitude like “Well it’s my day and I’m going to do what I want!” and whined and stomped your feet – then yes you were being a bridezilla and I would take the moment to learn from it. If however, you were more calm and said something like “Friend, I appreciate your input, but this is the dress I really like and have chosen.” Then she had no right to call you a bridezilla and I think it’s ok to be hurt.
However, I think it’s important to note a few things to try and see where your BM might be coming from.
1. You are looking at dress very very early so you need to understand if someone can’t afford the dress right now. Also, they may not be super excited because it is annoying to have to pay for a dress then have it sit in your closet for over a year.
2. Have you asked your BMs privately what their budgets are? What seems reasonable to you might not be to someone else.
3. You won’t be able to please everyone, but you should try your best to make sure everyone is comfortable. Honestly, I think the comfort of your BMs should trump your wedding vision. Remeber, these are your best friends and you don’t want to make them buy and wear something they really hate.
Also, don’t be too hurt that she said she didn’t like the BM dress or your wedding dress. If you asked for opinions, you should be prepared to get negative ones.
Post # 8
I don’t think anything you did warrants the term “bridezilla”.
We are all entitled to our feelings- no one can say you do or do not have a right to your feelings.
I do suggest though, that you are looking way too early. There have been countless posts from Bees who changed their minds, or worse yet, changed their bridesmaids.
Tell your BM’s the budget you will try to work within and they can start saving.
Post # 9
The only time I was ever told I was being a bridezilla seriously (by a “friend” of mine that wasn’t chosen to be a BM and was jealous because of it), my MOH went ‘F**k off, no she’s not! Get your head out of your a**!’ Hahaha! It was totally epic and I was really glad to have her there.
You were not being a bridezilla from what it looks like, but you are looking at BM dresses WAY early. We literally just bought dresses last week and I’m getting married in 3.5 months.
Post # 10
Thanks Bees for all your advice! I do agree it is a bit early to get the bridesmaid dresses and I dont expect them to buy them for awhile but I love the dress and colour and the price is only $128!!!! I know I might find something else so it’s not completely set in stone.
I do think the bridezilla term is used way to often like @Treejewel19 has said I am somewhat afraid to say what I want or like cause people might think I’m being the “B” word.
I guess I should just be careful how I say things so they dont seem snarky or bossy to others even if I’m not trying to be. I spoke with the bridesmaid I had the troubles with and I let her know that I do value her opinions but I might like something she doesnt and I just want her to be happy for me. She agreed. We will see how it all goes in the next year before my wedding..fingers crossed as I dont want any drama!!!
Post # 11
I was called a bridezilla because I asked my mom not to wear black at my wedding and the sales lady said it under her breath…
It is overused.Anyways I think it is too early. I would wait a little..
Post # 12
I was called a Bridezilla two weeks into my planning. It really hurt my feelings.
Post # 13
I can relate. My grandma keeps calling me a bridezilla because I didn’t like the wedding stuff at Joann Fabrics because I told her I was ordering unique items she said my wedding was too fancy and that I was a bridezilla. I don’t believe that just because my wedding is fancy that it means I am a bridezilla. I think she believes that I should just be happy with whatever is in front of me because everything should be that simple. Um no sorry this is my day. And as far as the bridesmaids go I have pretty much let them be mostly free with their dress choices they just had to get black, satin, knee-length, dresses from DB. Now their telling me that I should let my one pregnant bridesmaid get a chiffon dress. I don’t see why they cannot find one dress in flowy satin that will work and buy it a little big, grandma is going to alter it to fit right before, to wear for one day and I would like to have the same fabric for all the girls. She will only be 5 months along and I am even paying for it. They have even called me a bridezilla over my invitation and cake choices. I guess if the bride picks out things that are not what other people invision for her wedding she is a bridezilla. Really it’s my wedding people. I definately feel that people are slapped with the bridezilla label for unjustified reasons nowadays. If anything it should be maidzilla, guestzilla, etc. LOL
Post # 14
Could your friend be jealous? Many years ago when I was young and stupid I was a total b*atch to a friend planning her wedding, I didn’t really realise at the time but I probably said things like that to her. I ended up not even being invited. Now we are friends again but looking back I can see I was jealous of her happiness and being secure in her relationship, because I wasn’t at the time. I am embarrassed for how I acted! I kind of wish she’d called me on it by telling me I was being mean, because I think that would have helped me grow up and probably made her feel better too, but I totally understand why she just let me go instead. You could attempt to go down that route if your friend says anything else, to see if there’s anything bothering her that’s making her be unsupportive. If not, then maybe she’s just not a very good friend!
Post # 15
“Um no sorry this is my day”
Its THAT attitude – not anything specific that you want – that lends itself to people calling you a bridezilla.
If you want it to be just YOUR day, elope. If you want bridesmaids, family, friends, etc to participate, its only fair to consider their feelings too.
Post # 16
@mandypop: I didn’t actually say that to her. So any kind of comment lands you the bridezilla tag these days?