Post # 1
I need opinions. I recently got married down south and it was great. We had a large group who attended and we had perfect weather! Now that we are back some drama has unfolded, and I am at the centre of it.
A month before we left for our trip, one of my best friends’ bfs told my SO and I that he planned on proposing at the BEGINNING of the trip. This wastheir two year anniversary, so he wanted to do it then. I was really sadden by this because of all the work and dedication that had gone into planning my wedding, and I didn’t want her to have to share her big moment with me either. My SO felt the same way so we expressed this to her bf. We asked him to wait until the end of the trip when the wedding was over. We held the ring for him, helped him organize the entire proposal and everything. unfortunately our wedding was at the end of our trip, so the proposal happened the day after our wedding day… Two hours away from the resort so I was tired and came across cranky most of the day, but I was still there smiling when the proposal actually happened. Her bf then proceeded to tell all my friends and family that I was a bridezilla and I was angry at them, which in turn made me feel totally attacked. Now I am not speaking with my friend because she is angry with me … was my request to wait until after the wedding that unreasonable? Was that a bridezills move on my part? any thoughts are welcome 🙂
Post # 2
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
chrissy0308: Call your friend and explain the situation.
It was rude of him to use your Destination Wedding for a proposal in the first place. Life doesn’t stop just because someone is getting married but in this instance, the Boyfriend or Best Friend did the right thing and asked the bride and groom what their feelings were about the situation. He followed your request and he needs to get over it. If he didn’t like the parameters he had two options: 1) be a douche and ask at the beginning of the Destination Wedding like he wanted (and dealt with fallout); or 2) waited and proposed at a completely different time rather than on a Destination Wedding.
Post # 3
- Wedding: October 2014 - Restaurant
I think you asked them to wait until after the wedding, they did honor that, even if it was the day after the trip. If you were cranky during the proposal, that wasn’t very nice. I would just call your friend and tell her you’re sorry you were so cranky (you were exhausted!) and you are so, so, so happy for her!
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
I don’t think your request was unreasonable at all. I think that her Boyfriend or Best Friend proclaiming you to be a bridezilla and telling everyone that you were angry at them was ridiculous – shame on him. I also think it’s kind of petty that your friend would get angry at you over something like this. What exactly is there to be angry about I wonder?
Regardless of whether the Boyfriend or Best Friend wanted your opinion or not – you guys gave it. He could have refused to wait, but he didn’t. He waited because he CHOSE to. So I don’t know why he is complaining.
Post # 5
I personally wouldn’t care, but I’m guessing I’d be in the minority. I also wouldn’t care if someone wore a wedding dress to my wedding, announced a pregnancy, etc., however, I don’t mind sharing the spotlight. I know a lot of brides feel that the wedding is “their day” so events like these may threaten to take that feeling away from them. My wedding was just a big party with family and friends and all I cared about was having a good time, but if you’re hosting I think you should get the final say.
Post # 6
The first few days after your wedding can be rough, it’s a big let down after all of that planning and excitement! It’s hard to understand if you’ve never gone through it. I do not think asking him to wait until after the wedding was rude, I think it was rude of him to plan to propose during your destination wedding, although I do get that it was their anniversary and whatnot. For him to call you out as a bridezilla is obnoxious, he has no clue what it’s like to pull of a wedding, nevermind a destination wedding. I’m sorry you’re fighting with your friend over it. I would apologize for being cranky, and explain to her how exhausting it is (she’ll understand that one day..) and hopefully it will blow over.
Post # 7
Thanks ladies 🙂
i did apologize to her and even brought them a bottle of champagne over to their room that night to show them how happy I was for them. I don’t understand how I am coming across as mean for making the request. I am just more upset with her bf for making something that should have been special for her and I into a fight. the past couple of weeks I have even talked to her about taking her wedding dress shopping and going on another trip, so finding out that she was angry with me about this just really boggles my mind. I appreciate everyone’s advice on this.
Post # 8
I would be delighted if someone got engaged at my wedding or on my wedding trip. As long as they’re not popping the question right when my fi and I are exchanging vows, I say, hooray for love, and all the more reason to celebrate!
I would go visit your friend and her fiance— you can’t have this conversation over text or email, and in person really is best but phone would work if you can’t physically get there– and explain that you were just exhausted from the wedding, and offer to mend any fences by taking them out to celebrate a bit. Nothing extravagant, just a nice dinner in a local restaurant or a few drinks in the neighborhood pub. Even if you did not intend to come off as angry or mean, that’s the perception people have, which means unfortunately it’s on you to clear that up.
Post # 9
I wouldn’t have cared if he proposed before or after my wedding. A snarky comment if a bride didn’t want someone proposing during her wedding would be out of line though. IMO, you get to have a preference about what happens during your wedding, but you should not have asked him to delay the proposal until after your wedding. Before or after are both fine.
Post # 10
I think you need to think about how it looks to them: you told them you were saddened he wanted to do it then, and insisted he wait, then when he did it the way you asked you were in a bad mood. If I were them I probably would have asusmed you weren’t very happy for us either, and as your friend I’d be upset, seeing as my Boyfriend or Best Friend did everything you asked, and was smart enough to ask in the first place. Call your friend and apologize for how you may have come off, and smooth things over.
For the record, I wouldn’t have cared in the first place: if anything I’d be thrilled that we’d have more wedding joy to celebrate that week, but that’s moot now.
Post # 11
I would have been excited for my friend but I wasn’t the type of bride that thought it was all my day. I know many brides don’t feel that way. If you told them beforehand how you felt and also apologized then I think they just need to get over it.
Post # 12
Appreciate the feedback 🙂
for the record, I wasn’t snarky about it but I did express my thoughts. I explained to her bf that not only would it take away from my moment, but from her moment as well. His response was “I will just tell her to keep her most shut about the engagement..” Which is really unfair to her as well. I did apologize and told her how tired I was from the previous day, but I guess I need to apologize more? Seems many think I was rude to make the request which lets me see her side more..
Post # 13
It was rude and inconsiderate of your friend’s fiance to propose during that trip, anniversary or no anniversary. However, one thing I don’t understand is why you were upset the day of when you were also the one who helped plan and organize the whole thing. I would have had nothing to do with any of it. It does seem like you were sending some very mixed messages.
Post # 14
@weddingmaven I appeared upset because I was tired and sleeping on the 2 hour bus ride. It was 40+ outside and I wasn’t good at hiding my discomfort which was very much my fault. I was very happy when he proposed to her and I was right by her side when it happened. I wasn’t happy with him proposing to her before the wedding, but I had agreed to the day after the wedding and that’s why I helped try to make it special for her… But because of how my mood came across during the rest of the day I guess it took everyone’s thoughts away from that.. But like I said my fault for not being more chipper during the day..
Post # 15
Honestly, I think it was pretty rude of you to ask him to wait until after your wedding. As long as he didn’t want propose on your wedding day, it should have been fine. She would have gotten a day or two (maybe? the timing is unclear) to enjoy being engaged and then the spotlight would have been totally on you for your wedding day.
I would apologize to the newly engaged couple, and with a smile on your face, blame wedding stress for your ‘bridezillaness’ and wish them the best.